“You could have told me; it would have been fine.” I argue. “At least I would have known.”
He stares down at me, intensity radiating from him. “You would have been trapped, and I didn’t want that for you. I wanted you to be free to go where you wanted to go, do what you wanted to do, and not have to worry about me. So, I gave you that. I gave you time to be you.”
I take in his words, and there’s clarity there, even if I don’t want to admit it. I study him, suddenly curious about his private life. “So, you’ve never been with any other girls?”
He scoffs. “You know the answer to that.”
“Did you hate it?” I blurt out, unable to keep the question back.
“Hate what?” he asks in confusion.
“The fact that you have a mate so much younger than you.”
He smiles then, and I think my heart stops beating. Reid’s always had a really good smile, but I think tonight, it’s gotten even better, somehow. “No. Never. I got to watch you grow up. I got to watch and listen and learn everything there is to know about you before you even knew I was in your orbit.”
“Oh, please. You don’t know me that well. We haven’t talked in like—”
“Three years and three months,” he says cutting me off.
It suddenly hits me. “That’s why you stopped talking to me?”
He frowns. “I didn’t stop talking to you.”
My eyes widen. “Yes, you did. You stopped paying any kind of attention to me.”
He stares down at me, his eyes pleading with me to understand. “Because you were my mate, and you werefourteen.”
“Well, I lost my friend.” The words come out before I can stop them. “One day, we did everything together. Or, you did stuff with Zane and would let me tag along, the next, you wanted nothing to do with me.” Even I can hear the pain in my voice, and I hate that. I shake my head, taking a breath. “It’s fine. I just...I need out of this bathroom.”
“I never disappeared from your life, Riley,” he says quietly. “And I certainly never meant for you to think I was no longer your friend.”
I can’t do this tonight. The walls feel like they’re closing in on me, and I need out. “Listen, I just need out of here, please.” My voice cracks on the please, and it annoys me so much; but it also gets him to move.
“Okay.” He takes a step back.
Before he can leave the bathroom, I force myself to say the words on my heart. “I don’t want to bond, not yet,” I rush tosay, so he knows I’m not rejecting him. “I need time. I finally got away from my parents and their over-the-top protection this past year. I’m finally free. I want time to experience college and playing basketball here before we commit to this, if we commit to this.” To his credit, he doesn’t say anything; but his eyes flash with my last statement, letting me know he’s not happy with what I’m proposing.
Only when I’m quiet does he speak. “Of course, Riley. It’s never been my goal to make you feel trapped. I want you to experience all those things too.”
Relief flows through me at the same time panic does.What did I just do?Before I can spiral, I take a deep breath. “Thanks for understanding, Reid.” And now, I’m really ready to get out of this bathroom, that seems to be getting smaller by the second. He nods at my words. After a brief moment, he finally opens the door and steps out. I hear voices, voices I ignored while we were in the bathroom; and I know there’s no avoiding the next few hours. I start towards the living room, but he stops me.
“Riley.” I turn back to face him. “Can I see your wolf? Not tonight,” he adds quickly. “I know it’s too much to shift again. Just,” he pauses. “Sometime.”
Thinking of my wolf has me smiling for the first time in the last hour. “You might rethink meeting her.”
There’s a curiosity in his gaze. “Why?”
I shake my head. “She’s strong and stubborn and aggressive. She stayed up with my dad during the entire run.”
He gives me a slow smile, and I feel my stomach dip. “She sounds like she’s got some alpha in her.”
“Yeah, that’s what my dad said.”
“Well, sheisyour wolf.”
“I’m not an alpha,” I remind him.
“No, but you’ve always had alpha in you.”
