“Well, we can try.” I counter.
She shrugs. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”
I frown. “Do you really see me like that? As someone who can’t take a night off or have any fun?”
She doesn’t look back at me. “Your words, not mine.”
I stare at the back of her head a moment longer before I leave. My mind processes our conversation as I head across campus to the gymnasium. When I get to the gym, I drop my bag off at my locker and change my shoes. Then I stick in my earbuds and hit the weight room. I miss seeing Reid in here. Every once in a while, we would cross paths in here during preseason. There’s a pang in my chest; I think I just miss him overall. I watch my time carefully and head to the court when it’s time for practice. Coach Parella calls us in right away. “All right, Girls. Big week this week. We have games tomorrow night, Thursday night, and Saturday night. All home games. So, we’re not going to push hard tonight, but I do want to work on a few things that neededwork in the last game. So, pay attention and work hard; so we’re ready for those games.” Practice is grueling.
When it finally ends, Star bumps my shoulder on our way to the locker room. “So much for not pushing hard,” she says with a laugh. I can’t find the energy even to laugh, but I manage a smile. “Hey, you good? You were a little off in practice.”
I grimace, hating that it was bad enough she noticed. “Yeah, I’m good—just having an off day, I guess.”
“Everybody’s allowed a bad day,” she says easily. “As long as you have it figured out before tomorrow night,” she says with a grin. I nod, really hoping my troubles don’t follow me into the game tomorrow night.
Before I know it, tomorrow’s game is upon us. “Let’s do this!” Brene shouts, and we echo her shout. It’s not my best game, but I push it out and add fifteen points to our team score. It’s pretty low for me, but we get the win. It wasn’t our best and cleanest win, but it’s a win, nonetheless. Then Thursday night’s game comes and goes. I manage a measly nine points, and I feel like I was worthless out there. Coach Parella thought so too. I lost count of how many times she yelled at me.
“It’s okay,” Star told me after one major chewing out. “Just shake it off and play your game.” We end up losing the game by three points, and I can’t help but feel like it was my fault.
Angeline bumps my shoulder hard as we head off the court. “Tell me why you’re starting when you play like that.”
“Because she’s really good,” Star says from next to me.
I elbow Star lightly after Angeline leaves in disgust. “Thanks for the support, but it’s not worth it with her. I took her spot, and she hates me for it. That’s not ever going to change.”
Star scowls at me. “With that attitude, it won’t.”
She walks on ahead of me, and I sigh. Weariness dogs me as I make my way to the locker room. I’m looking forward to a hot shower. “Blackwood, my office,” Coach Parella orders. Star andI both stop walking. Star gives me a commiserating look and a quick hand squeeze before she continues on to the locker room. I make my way to Coach’s office. “Come in and close the door.”
I step inside and close the office door behind me. She doesn’t look up at me, so I make my way over to the seat in front of her desk. I sit in silence, willing myself not to fidget while I wait. “One more game, Blackwood,” she finally says.
“I’m sorry?” I say in confusion.
She finally looks up at me. “One more game to turn things around, or you will be sitting on the bench and someone else will be playing in your place.”
I meet her gaze head-on. “That’s not going to happen.”
She looks back down at whatever it is she’s working on. “See that it doesn’t. You’re dismissed.”
I stand up on shaky legs and walk out the door, closing it behind me. I lean my head back against the door and close my eyes, trying to find my equilibrium. I know who would take my place if she benches me. I grit my teeth and repeat to myself what I just told my coach. “I’m not going to let that happen.”
“Talking to yourself, Blackwood?”
My eyes snap open at the sound of Angeline’s voice. “Coach wants to meet with me,” she says with a saccharine sweet smile. “Can’t imagine what it’s about.” She cocks her head to the side. “Are you going to move, or should I—” I quickly step out of her way. “Thanks.” She waltzes inside and closes the door behind her, giving me a tiny wave as she does. I head right back to the gymnasium that’s mostly cleared out now and grab a ball and start shooting. Frustration fuels me, and I shoot basket after basket. Only when I can no longer jump for my jump shots do I finally return the ball to the ball rack and make my way to the locker room. It’s empty now, and I can’t find it in me to be sad about that.
It’s too quiet when I get out of the shower and dress to leave. When I walk past the entrance to the gym, I see Fred, one of the custodians turn off the last of the lights. “Thanks, Fred,” I call out.
He joins me in the hallway. “Not your best game tonight, Riley.”
Guilt hits me once again. “I know; I’ll do better the next one.”
He smiles at me. “Oh, I know you will. Besides, you can’t be the high scorer every game. You’ve got to let the other girls shine too, you know.” There’s a twinkle in those lined eyes.
I force a smile. “Right.”
“Don’t be too hard on yourself,” he continues. “At the end of the day, it’s just a game.”
I manage a real smile this time. “Thanks, Fred.”
