Chapter Twelve
KIT
It wasas if Red had punched him in the gut with that one word. Kit doubled over, sucking in a breath that felt too big for his lungs. His eyes prickled and his mouth went dry. He felt like he was going to pass out.
“Kit.” Then Red’s arm was around him, holding him close, supporting while he gasped through the pain.
No! No!
Kit shoved Red away hard. The last thing he needed was comfort from the man who’d just told him he was walking away from him. He wrapped his arms around himself, tears spilling onto his cheeks despite his best efforts to hold them back. He refused to meet Red’s gaze as he wiped away angry tears. He needed to man up like Tony always told him.
“I thought you’d find the bad guys,” he said, hating the way his voice shook. He clenched his jaw, desperate to regain control, and sucked in a few breaths before he continued. “I thought that would be it. I’d go back to my life, my brother, another shitty job.”
Red didn’t interrupt. That almost made it worse. It didn’t give him any hope. And the pity in his eyes…Kit hated that. The pity made him want to curl up and die.
“That could happen.” His tone said otherwise. “But you have to be prepared for the worst, Kit.”
The worst? The worst part wasn’t the danger. It was being alone with no familiar safety net.
Kit let out a short, broken laugh. “Prepared,” he echoed. “Sure.”
His throat burned. “The worst is I lose my home. My brother. Everything that keeps me grounded. I can’t see my brother again because he was a fucking asshole.”
“I’m sorry, Kit.”
“Sorry.” Kit snorted. “You’re sorry. Well, that makes it just peachy.”
Red stayed silent.
Why wasn’t he yelling at Kit for being rude?
Kit’s hands clenched at his sides, nails biting into his palms. He needed to say the last part before he lost his nerve.
“So that’s it,” he whispered. “You just… disappear and I’m alone. I thought you were responsible for me. Like Mo and Quinn and Craig. They didn’t walk out on their boys. They protected them. They stayed by their side.”
Red stepped closer, but Kit didn’t want that, couldn’t have his solid body close to him, offering support while wrenching his world apart.
“Don’t,” he ordered, one hand out, keeping him away, the other going to his mouth.
Red hesitated, staying where he was. But that’s not what Kit wanted either. He needed Red to haul him into his arms and promise that he’d never let Kit go.
“There’s a difference between the other Daddies and me, and you know that. It’s in my contract?—”
Kit shook his head, interrupting him, ignoring Red’s scowl. He reveled in that scowl. He didn’t care if he upset Red, not if the man was going to desert him. “Not in the beginning. None of them wanted the Daddy assignments but they stayed with their boys.”
“I’m not a Daddy, not now. I left that world.”
“You protected me and Ti in the club,” Kit pointed out. “Just like a Daddy would.”
“I’m a bodyguard. That’s what we do.”
“Is that all you are?”
“That’s all I can be,” Red said, steady as stone.
Kit’s faint hope of Red being by his side crumbled. He took a step back, needing to get away from him. “Leave me alone.”
Red didn’t move. “If you survive this—and you will, you don’t need me standing between you and the rest of the world. You’re strong, Kit Monroe. You know you are.”
