“There's no way Abby could have made this trip.Not with her morning sickness being twenty-four seven."
"I know.I just feel awful you left your sick wife to bring me on this trip."
"Had this been our first child, you and I wouldn't be sitting here.Since it's the third, she's fine with it.And it was her idea, remember?She wouldn't give this up for just anybody.”He gave Jay's shoulder a supportive pat.“She cares about you, Jay.We both do."
Rob ordered, and they discussed varieties of rum with the bartender.A nice young couple from Michigan took the empty bar stools next to them and within minutes the foursome were taking shots and trading takes on college football.Jay smiled and nodded, but his mind kept wandering and he struggled to stay engaged in the conversation.Of course Rob noticed.
"What’s wrong?”he asked in a whisper.
"Nothing.Just tired.I think I'll turn in early."
"You promise you’re okay?"Rob asked, eyes full of concern.
Jay nodded."I'm good, I promise."
“Alright, I'll see you in the morning for our final breakfast.Don't be late."
Jay motioned for the bartender, ready to settle his tab and turn in.He signed his ticket with a yawn then headed for the elevators.
Back in his suite, he tossed his pants on the chair and unbuttoned his shirt.He turned on the television but quickly grew bored.He gave up and tried reading for a while, some financial reports which he hid in his suitcase at the last minute.Rob had forbidden work of any kind.His dedication to helping him find some peace and normalcy made Jay smile.He knew he wouldn't have survived the days after Hope's death had it not been for Rob and Abby.
He shed his remaining layers and limped into the bathroom.Standing at the sink, he studied the face in the mirror—a man standing at the crossroads of his life.The path behind him, paved with pain and loss.The path ahead, lined with uncertainty and guilt.Looking down at the vanity, he spied his wedding ring lying with pocket change.He still didn't know why he'd taken it off, but he had a pretty good idea why he hadn't put it back on.
He hobbled back to the bed, snatching his cell phone from the dresser along the way.He brought the phone to his ear and waited.It rang just once.
"Yeah?"Rob answered.
"Tell me the truth.Is it too soon?For me to… you know…” Jay asked in a confused whisper.
Rob paused.He cleared his throat before he said, "Alder's Second Chance."
"Alder who?"Jay asked.
"You remember that horse—the one everyone thought would one day win the Triple Crown."
"Yeah,” Jay said.“What about him?"
"He got injured and was going to have to be put down.It was all over the news, and ESPN did that whole retrospective.But when the owners and the trainer and jockey went to the stable, the horse was already gone."
"I remember that.”
"Everyone involved with that horse was heartbroken.Grown men cried their eyes out on camera.God, it was awful.Even though they were on their way to end that horse's life, it still hurt."
"And you're telling me this because…” Jay questioned.
"Because you were on your way to end it with Hope.Only when you got there, she was already gone.Now, I know Hope isn't a horse, and I'm not trying to be disrespectful to her or her memory in any way."
"I know you're not."Jay ran a heavy hand through his hair, catching another glimpse of himself in the mirror above the dresser.
"You didn't plan on losing her the way you did.We don't make the plan, Jay.We just do the best we can.It was gonna hurt whether you left her in a court of law or in a cemetery.Obviously not to the same degree, but…”
"I guess you're right,” Jay said.
"Do I think it's too soon?It doesn't matter what I think.It's only too soon ifyouthink it is.There's no timetable on this."
"But it's only been six months,” Jay countered.
"Actually,” Rob said.“you've been mourning the loss of Hope for a really long time.”
