“You can tell me anything.I promise.”
Jay watched her and let several silent moments pass.He wanted to know everything—every word they had spoken, every feeling and emotion that had shaped their conversation.Sweat dampened his hands as he faced the grim possibility that might follow her confession: his life with Claire could end before it ever truly began.
“He was involved in a bad car accident—and I’m the reason the accident happened.There was a text message and a fight, and he stormed out.I set everything in motion.He suffered a devastating injury because of me.Then what did I do?I left him at his lowest point.”
Claire paused, her gaze still focused on the city skyline.Jay waited, determined to let her finish without interrupting—just as she had done for him that first day on the bench outside her office.
“Hours before, I blamed him for not making time to care about our relationship… and then I walked away as he lay in a coma.His sister threatened me with legal action if I stayed, so I caved.In two seconds, I caved and walked away and never looked back.Had the situation been reversed and I’d been the one lying in that hospital bed, I know he wouldn’t have given up on me—no matter who or what he might have faced.”
Unable to watch her suffer alone at the window, Jay walked over and wrapped his arms around her, holding her as tightly as he could.Her whole body trembled.
“I know those intense feelings of guilt,” he said.“It’s an awful way to live.But you weren’t in control of his car.”
“I know, but—” she started.
“Claire,” He pulled back and looked into her eyes, still watery with tears.“You didn’t plan on losing him the way you did.We don’t make the plan, we just do the best we can.It was going to hurt whether you left him at his home or in hospital… or even in a cemetery.”He spoke the same words that Rob had so eloquently shared many months before.
“I’ve questioned myself a thousand times.What if I’d stayed?What would my life be like now?But then I met you, and I suddenly stopped wondering.Days would go by and I wouldn’t even think about him.I didn’t want to.I have everything, Jay.A job and family and friends… and you.But he lost his mobility.I haven’t had the courage to talk about it because it’s easier to pretend it never happened.”
Jay nodded.“I still have those days.Days when I think about Hope and wonder what might have happened if I’d made other choices.Would she be alive today if I hadn’t been so insistent that she come straight home after her shift?But I can’t think that way.That line of thinking is toxic, Claire.Dr.Larson, my therapist, helped me see that.And honestly, if you’re willing, I think you should find a professional you can talk with, too.”
Claire stepped back and pulled the towel from her head, letting it drape around her neck.Only then did Jay notice the pendant.She hadn’t taken it off before her shower.He wanted to see it as a sign, but he kept his optimism guarded.
“The man who called me today is someone new,” she said.“Not the man I left in the hospital.He’s strong, determined, ready to start over and finally live his life again.I heard real hope in his voice.And do you know what caused such a monumental change in him?”
No, I don’t,” Jay said.
“He received a visit this week from a man who shared a poignant story about his own journey through loss and regret—and the strength he found to love again.”She stopped and drew a deep breath.“One honest conversation with him changed everything.Now he’s ready to start over and finally allow himself to love again.And do you know who that man was?”
“I have no idea.”
“It was you, Jay…” Claire whispered as tears traced silent paths down her cheeks.“That man was you.”
Jay stared at her, dumbfounded.His mind raced in a thousand directions as jagged pieces of fate came together into the most unexpected picture.He dropped his throbbing head into his hands, remembering the final words of his exchange with Calvin Butterworth.
“I’d cut off every limb if I thought I could have one more day with her,” Calvin said.
“She means everything to you, doesn’t she?”Jay asked.
“She’s more than everything.I wasted so much time not showing her just how much.”
“Then there’s only one thing you can do.”
“What’s that?”Calvin asked.
“Tell her how you feel.Do everything in your power to get her back.Fight for her.Just don’t let one more moment slip away,” Jay said.
Claire met his eyes and nervously cracked her knuckles.“Jay,” she said, “I’m responsible for a chain of events that led to your wife’s death.”
Her tears fell hard and fast.Jay pulled her back into his arms and held her.Several minutes of silence passed between them.Finally, Jay looked into her eyes, ignoring her statement as he made one of his own.
“You’re the woman?”he asked.“The woman Calvin Butterworth proposed to on Christmas Eve?”
Claire said nothing, offering only a reluctant nod.
CHAPTERTHIRTY-NINE
JAY
