I hold her gaze. “It does to me.”
I know how Brooke was raised. The way she was always put last. It made her think what she wanted was irrelevant.
Then I sent her to California alone, thinking I didn’t give a shit about her feelings either.
And Matt. Fucking Matt. I swear on everything I own if I ever have the chance, I’ll make that bastard disappear.
I’m sure my mother will help.
I lean close, reducing the space between us. “What you want might matter to me more than anything.”
I try to think of something I’d put above Brooke’s wants or needs. I’m not sure it exists. Not my family—they’re fine without me. Not Thing One and Thing Two—they don’t even know me. Not my job, not my house, not my cars or truck.
Not even myself.
If she told me today she wanted to move to Alaska, I’d pack everything up and be ready to go.
I’ve lived without her once already. I won’t do it again.
Brooke shakes her head, this time more aggressively. “Don’t say things like that. I can’t…” Her eyes lift to the ceiling. “I can’t think straight when you do.”
“I don’t say anything to you that’s not true, Brooke.” I close a little more of the distance between us, bringing my thigh flush with hers. “And I don’t say anything I don’t wish like hell I’d been smart enough to say ten years ago.”
I’m so glad I jumped in the shower as soon as Tucker left so I can touch her without messing up her pretty dress. Lifting one hand, I brush the tips of my fingers against her cheek. “If you leave me, you’re going to do it knowing exactly how I feel, and everything I’ll do to make you stay.”
Her next breath is shaky as her dark eyes search mine. “I just got out of a bad relationship, Toby. I lost myself. I don’t even know who I am now. How can you want me when I don’t know if I want myself?”
The anguish in her voice stabs through me. The pain isdeep and dark. Sharp and violent. I can’t stand the thought of how she’s suffered. Everything she thinks she’s lost.
But it’s all still there. I can see it, even if she can’t.
“Let me help you out a little then.” I brush back her hair, being careful not to disturb the waves as I smooth over the soft strands. “You are brilliant. Hard working. Determined and motivated.” I think of how she shares her lunch with Maren every day. The gift she got my parents, and the way she messages Mariah each morning to see how she’s feeling. “You’re a good friend. You are thoughtful and kind and giving.” My eyes drift to Copper and Bruno. “You are one hell of a good dog mom.” I turn back to the woman beside me. “And you always smell really good, which is helpful since I normally stink.”
The last bit has her laughing. “You don’t stink. You just smell like work.” Her smile dims a little. “Work is another problem.” Her eyes close and she lets out a little groan. “You’re my boss, and we’ve been?—”
“Titus is your boss.” I shut that thought down right away. Not because I’d have a problem with being her boss, but I know Brooke would. She cares how people see her. Always has. And thanks to a fucked-up childhood, probably always will. “But if you’re really worried about it, I’ll make sure he changes your position to rank over mine.”
Brooke scoffs. “You own the company.”
I shrug. “Doesn’t mean I don’t have a boss.”
She tips her head, looking skeptical. “Who’s your boss?”
I point at where Copper is snoring. “That little beast, for starters.” I consider a second. “And I’m pretty sure Pierce from Alaskan Security thinks he can tell me what to do.” To be fair, he pays well for that luxury. I tip my head toward Brooke. “And you.”
She rolls her eyes. “I’m not the boss of you. I don't ever tell you what to do.”
It’s cute that she thinks that’s what would make her the boss of me. It’s not.
I lean forward, aligning my eyes with hers. “You are the reason for everything I do, Brooklyn Marie.” I say it slowly so I know she hears it. “Your happiness is the driving force behind each decision I make and every action I take.”
Brooke pulls in a sharp breath, her lips parting as it passes between them. Like what I’ve said surprised her.
It shouldn’t have. I haven’t done a very good job of hiding my intentions.
I tried. Kind of. It’s just impossible when she’s so perfect. When I’ve waited so long.
When I still love her so damn much.
