She went between the beach and the house in an effort to get something done or find some inspiration, to no avail. She sketched in the sand near the tide, letting the ocean erase the designs almost instantly. And still she felt choked. Smothered.
She considered calling Celeste or Roni, but resisted. They’d been so wonderful last night. It wasn’t their fault that the encouragement and support they’d given hadn’t lasted a full day.
No, this was on her. It was her heart on the line. Only she could do the work and find the courage to tell Trent how she felt. Only she could be brave enough to accept the situation at face value and dare to love him.
A little desperate, she called Jess and got permission to go down to Miles’s sailing school on the waterfront for a change of scenery. Maybe she’d be able to focus on the sailing knot project.But once she’d arrived and said hello to Miles, she chose instead to walk through the grassy park area.
On any given day, someone would be tossing a frisbee, having a picnic, or reading a book. At least three days a week, someone from the sailing school held classes out here. When the music festival rolled around, the area would be packed with locals and tourists alike wandering through vendor tables and tents.
She walked the length of the park and back again, unsettled in the extreme. All because she was in love. And way too uncertain about what to do about it.
She was in love with Trent and she hadn’t told him. Sharing every random thought and feeling in the moment was her love language. People called her on it all the time, the way she hugged folks and tossed out compliments like confetti at a parade. Why couldn’t she give the man who mattered the words that mattered most?
Trent was not her ex. He wasn’t scheming or conniving. He wouldn’t hurt her. He wouldn’t trash her reputation or treat her poorly in public and even worse in private.
That didn’t mean he came with an iron-clad guarantee. No one did.
Long ago she’d vowed to save any loving thoughts and feelings for someone who was going to stick. For someone who wanted to be with her, to build something lasting with her. A relationship founded on love and rooted in a place where she felt at home.
Trent hadn’t once shown any inclination to make Brookwell more than a current operational location.
And yet…
Selfishness clawed at her. Love wasn’t meant to stay locked down until there was a sign. Love itself was the sign. She knewbetter than to deny her intuition and her current restless lack of focus was proof enough.
This morning, the words had been cued up and ready to go. With her hand over his heart, she’d been ready to confess that she’d fallen in love with him.
And she’d pulled back. Run away. Used shower sex as a diversion.
She couldn’t remember feeling this insecure about a man in ages. Or possibly, it was more accurate that she hadn’t felt so sure about a man since her divorce.
She shivered.That was it.
Deep down she knew Trent was special. Special to her on a soul deep level. It was like the potential for joy simmered in her veins, challenging her and rewarding her in equal measure.
And scaring the crap out of her.
She laughed at herself.
“Hey! Ms. Natalie! What’s so funny?”
She turned toward the familiar sound of Bryce’s young voice and waved to the little guy. He was about six years old, Miles’s stepson, and enamored with boats of all shapes and sizes. Sharon, his mother’s aunt, was right behind him.
“Hey Bryce. Did you just get out of school?”
He shook his head, looking a little bummed out. “Library day. Aunt Sharon said I could get my wiggles out before we go make dinner.”
Natalie grinned. “She’s super smart. Why don’t you come tell me all about your day,” she suggested. “If your aunt doesn’t mind.”
Bryce shot his aunt a pleading look no one with a heart could refuse. “Fine by me. Can I stay or do you want me to go for a walk by myself?”
Natalie admired her patience while Bryce considered the options. “Stay,” he decided.
“Thanks.” Sharon sent a grateful smile toward Natalie.
Eyeing a patch of clover, she sat down in the thick grass, planning on making a flower chain. “I was about to make a bracelet. You want to help?”
“Sure.”
