Those words are still ringing in my ears. I look at Arden. Her eyes are glued to the table, her hands shaking. She’s a shell of herself in this house.
Serena follows my gaze and leans forward, taking Arden’s hand in hers. “He didn’t die crying your name, Biggie. He was barely conscious. He couldn’t speak. We tried calling, but it went straight to voicemail.”
“I forgot to take it off ‘do not disturb,’” Arden admits, sounding defeated.
Serena stares at her, thumb brushing her hand. “I don’t think you would have come, even if you knew.”
Arden swallows, but doesn’t deny it. She wouldn’t have. Everyone in this house, including the ghosts, knows it.
“Why would she say that?”
Serena lets out a breath and runs a hand over her face. “Because she’s angry. He was asking for you more often than not while he could still talk. That last week he was crying, begging for the three of us to be together. He kept saying he had to know we’d be okay. Without him. Hewouldwant you to be here. More than anything.”
Arden snorts, which makes Serena tense up. Arden is still resentful, and Serena is one of the daughters who forgave. Even though she’s less angry than Anya, she’s still on the opposite side of a battlefield. She’s mourning.
“He didn’t think you’d speak to us anymore without him around, needing us to band together to care for him,” Serena explains quietly. “His biggest fear was you being alone in life. Not having your sisters.”
Arden shakes her head, bringing her wine to her mouth. I try not to focus on how badly her hand trembles.
“His biggest regret is being the one who made it that way,” Serena continues.
Arden’s eyes snap up to hers. “He had a lifetime to prove that, Serena. If he didn’t understand he couldneverhave enough power to force me away from my sisters, he really didn’t know me at all. I know he’s dead, and I’m so sorry you lost him, but I lost him a long time ago. His regrets don’t mean much to me.”
Serena stares at her older sister. “I know you’re still angry.”
“I’m not. I don’t feel anything toward this situation apart from what I feel for you and Anya.”
The situation is that their dad is dead. That’s how bad her life was here. She refers to the loss of her only living parent as asituation.
“He was still your dad,” Serena corrects gently. “It might not hit you now, but it will. He’d want you to know that he loved you and that he wishes he could have been a better father. He knows how bad he was, Arden. He was completely aware that you suffered more than any of us because he was a broken, sick man.”
Arden glowers at the table, and I swear I see her lip wobble a bit. “My dad died the same night Mom did. You know that.”
“I know.” Serena nods. “But he also got better as he got older and sicker. He understood his shortcomings and yearned for a chance to become a father to you. I never intercepted. I let you choose your relationship with him and I’ll never judge you for those choices. He and I spoke at length about what youwere doing in life. He was so excited to hear that you found somebody.”
My heart sinks, and when Serena’s eyes meet mine, I feel physically ill. I want to get up and leave, but I have no idea where I’d go, or how far Arden would want me to be. This whole thing has been a lie, and it kills me that Serena is looking at me with such gratitude, not knowing the half of it.
“He wanted you to be happy, and if that was without him in your life, and without him getting your forgiveness—he was at peace with that.”
“Good for him.”
“Arden.” Serena sighs.
“What are we looking at for the funeral?” Arden asks, clearing her throat. She reaches for all of the paperwork, thumbing through it.
“Why don’t we go to bed and tackle this in the morning?” I suggest quietly.
“I’m not tired. I’d rather do it now.”
“Red.”
She shakes her head, brow furrowing at something she’s reading. She begins to rapidly search through the paperwork until the table is a mess. Serena and I watch her silently, letting her busy herself with shaking fingers.
I slowly stand and make my way toward her. If I’m the only one who will put her first, then I’ll check every box and make sure I’m doing it right. She’s still shuffling documents when I place my hands over hers and kneel between her and her sister.
Arden’s eyes shut as I force her to stop.
“Red,” I say again. “That’s enough for tonight. Alright?”
