“Great. You can have yours in the quiet, peacefulness of your own home, and I’ll have mine listening to kids scream and fall, over and over, on a loop.”
I chuckle again. “What happened to my sunny little brother?”
“Kids,” he snorts, his smile slowly fading. “Life.”
I pause, glancing at the camera.
Yeah. Life did that to us both, he just held out a little longer.
I don’t know why I say it. I don’t know why I offer or why I don’t take a day to think about it, but it’s out of my mouth before I take a second to ponder how he might react to this. I am not an impulsive person. Never have been. Yet, the word vomit forces its way out anyway.
“Why don’t you pack up the wife and kids and come down for a visit?” I ask, and he blinks, looking into the camera in shock. “I want to see that kid’s mitts in action, and I’d love for you guys to come to a game or two. You can stay on the farm with me. There’s more than enough room.”
He stares at me for a second. “Wow. Boston, I—wow.”
“You can say no,” I say quickly, clearing my throat. Jesus, why did I come on that strong? I should have waited a couple more phone calls before telling him to haul down his entire family to visit his estranged brother. We haven’t seen each other in years and now I spring this on him? “I’d love to fly you guys out. See my nephews and my sister-in-law.”
He shoots me a look. “And your brother.”
I cringe, shrugging. “If he has to come.”
He grins, the weirdness in the air evaporating instantly. “When?”
“You can come for pre-season if you want, but why don’t we plan for October or November?” Because I’m not ready to suggest Christmas. “Talk it over with the wife.”
“We’d pay for it.”
“Please don’t,” I say, letting out a long sigh. “Honestly, Kane. I haven’t been brother of the year throughout our lives. Let me do this for you and the kids. For Bennett.”
He glances away, sniffing, like he can’t look at my face anymore. “I don’t know if I’d be willing to accept that.”
“Think it over.” I understand that overwhelming panic all too well when it comes to our family. I’m not pressuring him.
“Don’t mention this to Bennett until I’ve decided,” he says quietly, “or I’ll never hear the end of it until we’ve physically moved into your house.”
I laugh. “You got it.”
“And Boston?”
“Yeah?” I ask, pressing the buttons on my coffee machine.
“I looked up to you then and I look up to you now. You’ve always been a great brother. Our lives just made it hard for us to keep each other close. We lost too much.”
I stare at him, my throat bobbing. Ouch. That one had a kick to it. I take a second, absorbing those words from my little brother’s mouth, realizing how much time I lost where I could have hadsomeone.I cut ties with the whole family just to get away from some of them. I could have had my brother if I wanted him. He tried to show me that. I wouldn’t listen.
“Let’s try to get back some of what we lost then, yeah?”
He smiles, eyes sparkling with emotion, and dips his chin. “Yeah.”
I think about Miller. In his shiny office, wearing his shiny shoes, looking down his nose at the rest of us. I don’t think there is hope for him, but there is for Kane and me, and for my relationship with my nephews. That could be enough for me. I think it could be more than enough.
I never thought I’d haveanyfamily again.
I stopped imagining a future with my brothers ages ago. But now? I think it would kill me if my little brother declined my invitation. I want my future to include him and those three boys, one of which looks exactly like me and acts exactly like his Dad. I want to try to bridge this gap between us, this hole of darkness that has sat in my chest since the day we lost the littlest one of us.
I want to try.
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
