“If you meet someone who changes that for you. Who makes you wantmorerather than less—chase that, Boston.” She studies my face, squeezing my fingers again. “You have a shot at a different kind of happiness. Something beyond this…stagnance that people like us have grown comfortable living in.”
“I can’t do it to him.”
“But you can do it to yourself?” she asks, cocking a brow. “He can’t be angry with you for taking care of her. For seeing her the way he’s always dreamed of someone seeing her. He’s just mad that you’ve been lying, that you guys have been sneaking around.”
“He would have been mad either way.”
She shoots me a look. “For a minute, maybe, but don’t go pretending like this was the right way to handle this. You should have talked to him.”
“I know.” I sigh, dropping the ice pack again.
“You’re a good man, and you are my best friend,” she says, and I brush my thumb against her knuckles. Likewise. “Don’t let go of someone who infuses your life with sunshine. For those of us who are dark and stormy, that light can change the view.”
“I knew it would happen and I still went through with it,” I admit, clearing my throat. “I knew that she would be the easiest person in the world to fa…”
My voice trails off. Can’t finish that sentence. The words get stuck in my throat.
Lemmy smiles, leaning into the cushion and nodding. “She is.”
“She knows about us,” I tell her.
Lemmy’s dark brows furrow a bit. She lifts her head. “What?”
“She asked. I couldn’t lie to her.”
Lemmy stares at me. “Okay.”
“I’m sorry if that betrayed your trust,” I mumble. Might as well get all the apologies out now.
“No, it’s okay,” she says. “If you felt comfortable telling her that, that’s your choice.”
“We were good for each other, Lem. Me and you,” I tell her, forcing a gentle smile. She leans her head against the cushion again and I find myself hoping for her. Hoping she’ll find the person that brightens up her view, too. She’s beautiful. She’s caring. Smartest person I’ve ever met. She’s stronger than anyone I know. She deserves that, if she’ll let herself have it. “We put each other back together, I think.”
She smiles warmly, a bit of emotion dancing in her eyes. I bring her hand to my mouth and press a kiss to it. I love her. Not in the romantic way, but deeply, in a way that matters just the same.
“We did,” she says quietly. “If I was somebody who was ever going to get married, you’d be my man of honour. No question.”
I snort, and her smile widens. I truly am grateful for every minute she’s been in my life. “You’re my best friend, too, Lem.”
She dips her chin and then reaches forward. For a moment, I think she’s going to hug me, but instead, she grabs that ice pack from my lap and holds it out to me, a look of warning on her face.
I press it to my eye, biting back a smirk as she lets out a long, deep breath, and not for the first time in my life do I wonder how she puts up with any of us.
CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE
ariana
My door stayed lockedall night and throughout the next day. Carter hasn’t bothered to knock, anyway, because I’m mad at him and he’s furious with me. I keep seeing it in my head on a loop. Boston falling to the ground, all that blood on his face, the pain in his eyes. I keep hearing his voice pleading with Carter, trying to explain.
Apologizing.
And I see my brother. A monster. Standing over his friend and hurting him, delivering both physical and emotional wounds, destroying him with blow after blow, and for the first time in my life—I don’t like who my brother is.
Arden has given me space. She knocked only once last night, and I ignored her. I’m upset that she was keeping tabs on me, building a case against me, but out of everyone—I’m mad at her the least. It’s not her fault. She was just the scapegoat. I’m the problem. Me, and my brother.
I wipe my tears, curling inwardly on my bed. I’ve been trying to read this book for twelve hours to distract myself, but I haven’t made it through a single chapter. I’m too busywondering about Boston. Worrying about him. Is he okay? Is he in pain? Was anything broken? Was anything permanent?
I focus on every creak and bump that sounds through the rest of the condo, easily able to identify Carter’s musings from Arden’s. They got into it last night, too. I’ve never heard her scream at him like that. I’ve never heard him yell back at her, either. I’ve created a severance between the world’s cutest couple.
