I eye her carefully. I’m not used to this version of her, so I’m not sure what she wants me to say, but I’ve never been one to tailor my responses to what peoplewant.I’ve never been one to shy away from her either. The Ariana Forkerro I’ve known is flirty, charming, obscenely beautiful, and remarkably put together. She still fucking is. Even now.
This makes me like her more, not less.
“If anyone’s favourite version of you is what they see at face value, that’s the only version of you they deserve,” I tell her calmly. “You’re one in a fucking million, sweetheart. Act like it.”
Her eyes flash with surprise, that stubborn chin popping out again. I drop her hand and step away from her, finally convinced she isn’t going to act like an idiot again. Sighing, I shake my head and scoop up her bottle of champagne from the ledge, taking a big swig with an incredibly shaky hand.
I hated that.
Every second of it.
“I’m sorry,” she says softly.
I grumble something, staring out at the city so I don’t bite her head off. After a long moment, she slides into the spot next to me. Now calm, she wraps her hands around the railing in a sensible manner and gazes out toward the world below. Calmly. With little risk.
Good.
I pass her the champagne without looking at her. She takes it and brings it to her mouth.
“I spent a lot of my life chasing boys who had no future because the one who promised me a blinding one broke my heart,” she says quietly. I don’t look at her, I just listen, because I think she needs it. “Now, I’m twenty-eight and I can’t curate a meaningful relationship to save my life. I run from anyone who might make me feel something again.”
I take the champagne from her and take a drink. “Seems like you’re letting one idiot control how the rest of your life turns out.”
She winces, but I don’t apologize. Not after that show.
“Change it,” I tell her pointedly. I glare at the city, because I don’t want to aim my anger her way. I’m pissed at her, but she’s clearly going through enough already. She doesn’t need my fury on top of it. “You’re the only one who can, Ariana.”
“I know,” she whispers, wiping her eyes, “but I don’t want to.”
“Then what set you off?” I ask. “You were fine down there until you weren’t.”
“I want what they have, you know?” she asks, glancing at me. The crew. She’s talking about the crew. “I don’t want a relationship, so all I have is my friends and my family, and Istilldon’t have people who know me like that. Who love me like that. Now, I don’t have my career, either. It was always easier to forget about all the things I was missing while I still had my own purpose.”
She is not the first person to feel that way when immersed in this friend group, and she won’t be the last. I’ve felt it. Fork, too. Saltzy is currently battling through it, having epiphanies because of their impact. She isn’t alone.
I glance at her. “Your brother would burn the world down for you, Ari. The rest of us would help. You’ve got people, even when you feel like you don’t. The career stuff? Something tells me you won’t be lost for very long in that regard.”
“My own father doesn’t believe in me anymore,” she says, her voice breaking. “I got fired because I stuck up for myself, and he just…assumes that I did something wrong. I think he would have preferred that I shut up and be a good woman. That I should just deal with the men pushing me around if it means keeping such a high-profile job.”
She scoffs, shaking her head.
Anger boils in my veins as I drink her in. Her dad can be a real piece of shit. No wonder his wife left him. Her jaw pulses, holding back a fresh wave of anger. I want to suck my thumb in my mouth and wipe away all the black staining her cheeks, tell her how those eyes have the power to control every fucking boardroom she walks into, but I don’t. I keep my distance like I’m supposed to.
“Always stick up for yourself,” I tell her sternly. “Being a good woman does not mean being a quiet one. You were born with a voice. Use it. Even if it’s just to tell people to fuck off.”
She laughs under her breath, shooting me a grateful look before we both go back to peering out at the city below. After a few seconds, she gently bumps her body against mine. I bump her back, watching the cars speed by. From up here, this place looks like nothing special, but we know better. We’ve seen what it has the power to create. Maybe, right now, it’s creating a little magic for us, too.
Maybe we’re more alike than we realized.
“You’re lucky you’re such a good guy,” she says, sniffling. She brings the bottle of champagne to her mouth. “Or I might actually start pursuing you.”
I chuckle, shaking my head—because even after all that—she’s still pushing my buttons.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
ariana
I embarrassedthe hell out of myself last night. I’m suffering from humiliation and the world’s worst hangover today as my karmic punishment.
