Chapter Five
Shadows wrap around me and the next second we are swirling in a vortex of them. The second my feet touch the solid ground of my dorm, my back is slammed against the door and Jayden’s lips are on mine in a brutal claiming kiss.
“What are you thinking?” he snarls, keeping me pinned to the door with his hard body.
“What do you mean?” I ask, breathless.
“Adrian told you that isn’t an option but you’re still considering it. What happened to forever and always, Beth?”
“That still applies.” I glance away.
Jayden grips my chin, turning my gaze back to his. “This life and the next. You are mine, Beth, and there isn’t a lifetime or alternate reality where I let you sacrifice yourself for me. Do. You. Understand. Me?”
“It’s not your choice to make,” I whisper.
Tears burn the backs of my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. His expression is gutted and tortured. I’ve never seen Jayden appear so completely hopeless. My heart cracks.
“You care so little for me that you would make me live the rest of my life without you?” He squeezes his eyes shut tight.
“It’s not like that. You would at least have a life to live, Jayden.”
“I would rather die a gruesome death than live a day without you.” Jayden kisses me again, slowly and deeply, pressing his body against mine.
“Jayden.” I grip his shirt, unsure if I’m pushing him away or pulling him closer.
“Tell me you won’t do it,” Jayden whispers.
“I can’t promise I won’t. If it is an absolute last resort, I will do it to save you all.”
“That’s all I can ask then, I guess. Don’t just run off to Hera and leave us alone without there being no other choice. Promise.” He presses his forehead to mine.
I stare into his devastated blue eyes and realize that’s a promise I can make. I’m not going to do what she wants unless there is no other option. I can’t leave my friends and Jayden on the whim of a vengeful goddess.
“I promise.” I lean forward and kiss him softly.
Jayden’s lips crash against mine, pouring all the pain, worry, and love from the depths of his soul into the kiss. I grip his shirt tighter, pulling him flush against me. I run my hands up under the hem of his shirt and a shudder rolls through him.
“We’ll find a way, my love. We always find a way to stop her. You won’t have to do this and we can be together forever.” Jayden brushes kisses along my jaw to my neck.
“We will. I’ll do everything in my power to make it happen. In this lifetime and the next.” I push his shirt over his head.
Jayden needs me to reassure him tonight. I need to prove to him how much I love him. If he’ll let me. He’s stubborn about my pleasure and holds himself back until I have come at least twice but usually three times or more. That can’t be what tonight is about.
His words come back to me like a punch to the gut.You care so little for me that you would make me live the rest of my life without you?How could he ever think that’s true? I am a terrible person. A terrible mate if that’s what we are. Fate seems to think that’s what we are. I need to show him.
“Can we try something different tonight?” I ask, tugging at the button of his jeans.
“Anything you want, my love,” he says as he licks down my throat.
“No, I want to show you how much I love you tonight. I want tonight to be about you.” I drop to my knees in front of him.
“Baby, you don’t have to do this because I was upset. I let everything get to me too much. I shouldn’t have said you care so little for me. The weight of everything is on you and nothing makes me happier than making you come repeatedly before fucking you hard and fast the way you like.”
“It’s not about me, tonight. I want to make you feel good, too. I completely wrecked your heart tonight and I need to make it up to you.”
I run a hand up his chest as the other fumbles with the button on his jeans. I lick him in a long line above the waistband of his pants, never taking my gaze from his. When I get to the deep V at his abs, I trace it with my tongue.
Jayden’s gaze is hooded as he shuffles his feet. His hands flex at his sides, probably itching to grip my hair and pull me where he needs me most, but he holds himself back. Just like Jayden always holds himself back.
