Jasmine sucked in a sharp breath. “I don’tneedhelp, though.”
Hmm, maybe not too thick. Maybe she didn’t quite get my meaning. “Alright, you don’t need help. But I can be good company, I promise. And besides, I’d like to learn more about you.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Why?”
“We’re going to be married.”
“So?”
“So…” I shook my head, frustrated. Between my looks and my position as alpha, I was used to women swooning at my feet. Maybe I’d gotten lazy. Maybe they weren’t as swooning as I thought, but they pretended to bolster my ego. “So, what I’m saying is, I would like to spend time with you. Get to know you so that we can have a somewhat decent marriage, Jasmine. Maybe make up for the fucked up things I did in the past.”
Maybe that was the problem. Maybe I was trying to be seductive when really I wanted to be apologetic.
She shook her head. “You don’t have to do that.”
“Do what?”
“Pretend to care to keep me around.”
I opened my mouth, ready to protest, to tell her that wasn’t what I was doing, but stopped myself. Even in my head, it sounded like a lie when it wasn’t. Not entirely, at least. I ran a hand through my hair as I tried to figure out my next move.
“What do you want, then?” I finally asked her.
“Space to breathe.”
Her blunt reply made me frown. “Have you not been able to breathe? You were alone all last night, weren’t you?” I demanded. Images of one of the others sneaking into her room made my wolf growl, even though I knew none of them would do it.
“I haven’t had more than five minutes to myself this morning,” Jasmine replied, passing a hand over her face. She fiddled with the keys in her other hand. “Last night, I was just trying to wrap my head around everything. This morning, I’m trying to figure out what my life looks like. So I just want space. Especially from you four.”
I stepped forward, reaching for her without thinking of it. Jasmine shied away, tensing further. Her lips pressed together, and her eyes widened slightly. I stopped, but she didn’t relax, still looking like she was getting ready to bolt.
Jasmine sucked in a deep breath through her nose, her nostrils flaring. I stared back at her, not sure what I was expecting.
“I won’t fight against the Goddess’s command. She said this marriage has to happen, and so I will submit myself to it. I will endure,” she added, quieter, as though she was speaking to herself. “If it doesn’t get any worse than what it already is, then…”
“You’re afraid of us,” I murmured.
“If you were in my shoes, with our history, what would you feel?” she asked me point-blank.
I took a step back, putting more distance between us. It occurred to me only now that her statement last night about not expecting faithfulness wasn’t what I’d thought. At the time, I thought it was her declaring that she wouldn’t give up any lovers she might have. Now, though…
“Of course you don’t want us to touch you,” I murmured.
Part of me, the part that didn’t want to examine what I was feeling or the parts of our history where I was to blame, wanted to say she was just being manipulative. But looking at her now, I couldn’t believe it.
“Would you believe me if I said I wish we hadn’t gone as far as we did?” I asked her.
“Maybe. But what are your reasons?” She lifted one shoulder and let it drop. “I’m not interested in trying to figure you out and to divine what’s true and what are lies. I just want to be alone so I can actually think things through.”
I nodded as I stepped back again. “That is understandable. I forgot that to make this work, we need…”
“Need—never mind. Can I go now, Alpha?” As she spoke, her gaze dropped back to the floor.
“Of course. I won’t keep you any longer.”
She skirted by me. As I watched her go, I realized that this was going to take far more than I thought. Foolishly, I assumed that Jasmine would be thrilled about her rise to power. It hadn’t occurred to me that now, she felt more powerless than ever.
Chapter 5 - Renz
