After he was taken by the darkness, there was a strong influx of others as well. Violent acts kept popping up through thepack, and most of them were found to be possessed and locked away.
Eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore and called Penny, asking to meet up. She didn’t want to come to Tyrell—not that I blamed her—so we decided to meet up in the city. It took some convincing for Renz, Owen, and Jace to be comfortable with the idea, especially with me going alone.
“There haven’t been any reports of the darkness in neutral territory except the grasslands,” I pointed out.
“Yeah, but we can’t take the time to go with you,” Jace grumbled. “And I don’t like the idea of you going alone.”
I sighed. “I know what you mean. I don’t really like the idea of going alone, either, but I’m sure that it will be fine. Honestly, it sucks, but I think I could be more open with Penny without you guys there.”
Owen nodded. “No, I understand. When we’re nearby, you want to word things in a way that won’t make us feel protective. Because you still blame yourself.”
When did he start knowing me so well? I managed a small smile, nodding once. It was strange to be so open about this. Part of me felt like I should lie, pretend that their reassurances were enough. The truth was, though, they were alphas. They were used to this sort of responsibility and the pressure that went with it. And they would say I wasn’t to blame and try to make me feel better, regardless of the situation.
I needed someone outside of the pack. I needed someone who had gone through the same thing I was going through now.
“Take my car,” Jace said, giving me the keys. “And let us know how it goes, okay?”
***
“… and that’s how it is,” I said to Penny. We were sitting in a café, two cups of untouched coffee between us. I leaned my elbows on the table, hunching over. “I’m sure that this is getting worse because of me. I keep thinking, maybe if I weren’t there, then it would get better. The darkness would leave.”
Penny reached across the table and squeezed my hand. “The Goddess wouldn’t have chosen you to be their wife if you needed to leave to defeat the darkness.”
I winced. “I suppose.”
“I know how tempting it is to think that if you run away, everything will be fixed. But that’s not how it works. You have to face this. That vision isn’t the be-all, end-all. It was a warning, yes, but remember that the omegas who came before us left spells in the land to warn us of the darkness.”
“But if I were doing my job, I would have found the answers already.”
Penny shook her head. “You can’t think of it that way. The Goddess placed you with your alphas for a reason. I don’t know why she doesn’t give us answers, but she likes for us to figure things out on our own. What I do know is that we can’t give in to despair. That’s what the darkness wants.”
***
After Penny left, I headed back to the car, only to find Owen there. I slowed to a stop at the sight of him. “Did you follow me?”
He nodded.
I rubbed my aching forehead. All that talk about me going on my own, and them saying that they couldn’t leave the pack business, and Owen had followed me anyway. Was it because he was worried about me, or because he, too, blamed me?
After what we had been through, I didn’t want to assume the worst of him.
“Let’s hear it,” I said, leaning against the car beside him.
“I knew that you blamed yourself, but I didn’t realize that you blamed yourself as much as you apparently do,” Owen said softly.
I wrapped my arms around my middle. “And now that you have heard it? Now that you know, I have been considering running away.”
Owen reached for my hand, and I braced myself. He took my hand gently and rubbed his thumb over my knuckles. “I’ve thought about it, too.”
“You…what?”
He gave me a small smile. “I didn’t always want to be an alpha, and even these days, I feel like I’m not good enough. I’ve done some shitty things and made some terrible mistakes. There are plenty of times when I’ve felt like the pack and the other alphas would be better without me.”
I turned my palm to his and squeezed his hand. Just a few weeks ago, he wouldn’t have opened up to me like this. “I thought I was the only one who felt that way.”
Owen shook his head. “You are doing enough, Jasmine. We wouldn’t be where we are without you. I don’t think I’d have so much hope if you weren’t here.”
My heart swelled. Warmth spread through me, and I smiled at him. He smiled back, and I felt a sweep ofdetermination through me. I wasn’t going to lose them to this darkness. I would figure this out, somehow.
