‘Uh-huh.’
‘Did you hear that?’
She looks at me. ‘What?’
‘That song.’
‘What about it, Kate? You’re being weird.’
‘Holly, that’s the song that was playing when your father drove the car into a tree.’
She stops. ‘Oh, yeah. That’s right.’
‘But it wasn’t out then.’
She stares at me, then turns a little pale. ‘Yes it was. I remember it. I heard it.’
‘You couldn’t have. The accident was in 2015, but the song came out in 2016. He just said so.’
She presses her lips together. Her mouth trembles.
‘What the hell, Holly?’
‘I couldn’t handle it anymore.’
‘What?’
‘I couldn’t do it anymore. I hated him so much. I’d been thinking about killing him for a whole year – about how I’d do it. And I thought I would do it like that. In front of you. With a knife. I looked it up, anonymously. I knew exactly where to stab him. I planned how I would do it. I would bring up my mother, the accident, and he would lose it. And he did. Like I knew he would.’
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. And yet I remember thinking that day,that’s funny. Holly is cutting an apple for herself. She never normally eats fruit unless I force it on her.
She’s waiting for me to say something, her bottom lip wobbling, but my thoughts are jumbled.
‘Are you saying that you thought this through?’ I say finally. ‘That you killed him on purpose. That you set me up?’
‘No! It wasn’t like that!’
‘But you made sure to kill him in front of me.’
‘Because I had no choice, Kate. I needed someone to help me get rid of him after I killed him! I knew I couldn’t just kill him and expect to get away with it. But I thought, if you were there when it happened, you’d help me.’
‘Oh my God! Holly! You can’t be serious!’
She bites her bottom lip. ‘I’m sorry.’
I put a hand on my chest. I’m finding it hard to breathe. All this time, I thought it was some kind of impulse. She couldn’t help it. She felt so threatened that she lost control. And nowshe’s telling me that she planned this. And it happened exactly the way she wanted. She provoked him so she could kill him and make it look like it was almost accidental, because she knew I would help her get rid of the body.
‘Did your parents really have an argument in the car?’
She shakes her head. Her mouth turns down.
‘So, it was true? You really did reach for a drink?’
She nods. Her bottom lip trembles.
‘And Saskia was asleep? Without her seatbelt?’
‘I think so. That’s what I was told.’ Then in a whisper, she adds, ‘I’m sorry.’
