She whips her head to look at me.
‘The milk, Holly. I mean, I’ll clean up the milk.’
She lets out a breath. ‘I’ll help.’
‘Only if you want to.’ It is the scene of the crime, after all. ‘And then I’ll take you shopping,’ I say. ‘Get our mind off…things.’
As if.
11
I do not sleep, not for one minute. First, I turn off Max’s phone and put it in his bedside drawer. Tomorrow, when I put him in the car, I will slip the phone in his pocket.
Then I call him and leave a message.
Let’s not fight. I’m sorry. Where are you? Please come home.
I lie back and try to think. I barely know the area. We haven’t been here that long. Maybe I should find a disused mine shaft or a quarry, if such things even exist around here. I have no idea. And then I remember, actually, that’s not true. I do know a place.
A month or so ago, Max came home early from work, around three p.m. I’d had an afternoon off, too. He was in a strange mood. Holly was at school.
‘This is nice, eh? Just the two of us for a change?’ he’d said. He poured himself a scotch, and then another. ‘Let’s get in the car and explore,’ he said.
‘Max, I don’t think so.’
‘Why not, Kate? Come on.’
‘I don’t think you should drive.’
He narrowed his eyes at me. ‘Who the hell do you think you are to tell me when and where I can drive.’
‘I’m sorry, but, Max, please. Another time.’
He grabbed my arm, roughly, grabbed his keys and pushed me outside. He shoved me into the car. I was terrified.
‘What’s wrong, Kate? Don’t you trust me? You trust me, don’t you? Do you trust me with your life, Kate? Do you?’
We went off a side road at full speed, and then he turned abruptly into a lane I hadn’t even seen, through the trees. I was terrified. The lane ran along the edge of a common above a hollow. I was screaming for him to slow down. The track was rough and uneven, the car stuttering as we drove over a verge, and then Max slammed on the brakes.
There was nothing in front of us. Nothing but the grey sky.
My heart was pounding.
He laughed and laughed. ‘Look at that!’ he said. ‘Look at that view, Kate! Wow, we almost flew! Did you see that?’
I got out and took a few steps. We were standing above an eight-foot drop. A steep, rough slope with trees, but not enough trees to stop the fall. We were well within the woods. There were no visible roads or cars. No houses. Had he driven just that little bit further, we would have crashed down there. And you couldn’t see anything from up there, unless you leaned over.
That’s it. That’s perfect. And it’s not too far. Maybe six, seven miles, partly on a rough track. I could walk home. It would take me maybe three hours at the most.
I’ll wear Max’s jacket, his cap and his sunglasses, even though I’ll be driving at night, but I don’t want to take the chance of any CCTV catching sight of me. Then I’ll leave his jacket and cap and sunglasses in the car, let it roll off the embankment and walk home.
That’s it. That’s what I’ll do. Tomorrow night.
Before going downstairs the following morning, I reach for my phone. I imagine how I would feel upon waking and finding thathe wasn’t next to me. Relief, obviously, but still. I would check my phone for a missed call or text, then I would call him.
It goes to voicemail. ‘Max, let’s not fight anymore. I’m really sorry. Where are you? Please call me.’ I hang up. This afternoon, I will go to the site and take another look. Then tonight, around nine, maybe ten, I will take him out there. I just need it to be dark – that’s all.
Holly and I barely speak over breakfast, and judging by the sight of her, she hasn’t had much more sleep than I have.
