‘You didn’t?’ she asks, incredulous.
‘I haven’t had the chance.’ That part is true, but also I don’t want Holly to hear about this now. She might blurt something out. The very thing I was about to blurt out myself, in fact.He’s in the freezer.
I walk out of the room, letting her hobble after me.
I ask Holly about her drama class while doing my very best to behave as if everything is perfectly fine. But all the while, I am thinking,it’s her. I know it’s her. His mistress. What was her name? Did he ever tell me? I don’t remember. I didn’t care who she was. I just wanted it to end.
I think I love you. With a lipstick kiss…
Holly is saying something, but I can barely focus. The idea I could have confessed thatMax is in the freezer, for Christ’s sake,makes my insides turn to liquid.
‘Do you have any homework to do?’ I ask Holly.
She looks at me.
‘What?’
‘I’m doing it now, Kate. What’s wrong with you?’ She lifts her textbook to show me.
‘Of course, sorry. Miles away.’ I turn around. ‘Can I help with dinner?’ I ask Teri, who is opening a bottle of wine.
She frowns at me. ‘It’s already in the oven.’
‘Of course. I knew that. Shepherd’s pie, isn’t it?’
‘Yes, that’s right.’ She and Holly exchange a look.
‘I’m going to prep some carrots to go with it,’ I say.
They both frown at me. ‘There’s no need,’ Teri says.
‘I want to.’
‘History, huh,’ Teri says, pulling up a chair next to Holly. ‘That brings back memories.’
Holly laughs. But immediately grows serious. ‘I have a test in the morning. I’m dying right now. It’s so hard.’
‘Let me take a look. You want me to test you?’
They pore together over the book, their heads almost touching. I can hear them, but I can’t understand a word they’re saying. That’s because I keep hearing Teri’s words ricochet in my head:that doesn’t sound like Max.
‘Are you all right, Kate?’ Holly asks.
I jump, then realise I’ve been peeling the same carrot for so long, it’s like a matchstick. I toss it in with the peelings.
‘Of course! Miles away.’ I point my peeler at her. ‘Now you keep revising, young lady. And hey, how about Scrabble after dinner?’
Later, after everyone has gone to bed, I lie there staring at the ceiling, wondering what madness possessed me to tell Teri so much. I feel like I was seconds away from handing her a grenade while explaining exactly how to detonate it.
Are you here for Max? He’s not home. Where is he? You won’t believe this. Wait till you hear what we’ve done.
I must have fallen asleep because I wake up, heart pounding, disoriented by whatever dream I was having. The house is dead silent, and I lie there, my eyes closed, trying to remember the dream that spooked me, when I hear someone breathing softly. For a moment I think it’s Max, but then I remember.
Max isn’t here.
I open my eyes. The room is pitch-black, with only narrow slivers of moonlight around the blinds. It takes a couple of minutes for my eyes to adjust, but when they do, I can just make out a silhouette standing in front of my open wardrobe.
Am I still dreaming? I hoist myself on my elbows. ‘Holly?’
