Finally, I take my seat next to her at the table, still managing to keep some distance between us. She flashes me a look of surprise at the seating arrangement, then looks away, answering another question posed by Roxy.
I can’t stop watching this new human. The way she gestures when she talks. The curve of her smile. The sound of her laugh, warm and genuine.
“Trunk, can you pass the—” Rook starts.
Zora chooses that moment to throw a handful of food across the table. Roxy lunges to catch it, Lila scolds gently, Lia laughs, and baby Rux starts crying again. I shift position to avoid a toddler darting underfoot. And suddenly I’m closer to Ines than I intended. She reaches for the bread, her neck exposed, her scent rising toward me.
I inhale before I can stop myself. Her scent fills my lungs. Warm and complex. I send it deep into my veins, searching for what I already know will be?—
Nothing.
Not compatible.
She’s not my Bride.
Relief should flood through me. This is good news. I don’t want a journalist as my mate. I don’t want any mate at all. I’ve made peace with being alone, with my line ending with me. I removed myself from the mating database years ago.
So why does something feel wrong?
It’s like reaching for something that should be there and finding empty air. Like a word on the tip of my tongue that I can’t quite grasp. The scent says no.
But my body...
Heat prickles across my skin. Both my hearts beat faster, pounding against my ribs in a rhythm I don’t recognize. And lower, in my gut, there’s a stirring. A warmth spreading through me that I’ve never felt before. In forty rotations, I have never once responded to a female. This is normal for unmated Xylan males. Desire stays dormant until we meet our Bride. I’ve watched each of my brothers find their mates, watched the fever take them, watched them transform from solitary miners into devoted husbands and fathers.
And each time I’ve felt nothing. No jealousy. No longing. Just acceptance that this would never be my path. So what the hell is happening now? She’s not compatible. The scent confirmed it. And yet my skin feels too tight and I cannot stop breathing her in. I pull back sharply and nearly knock Lia over. Lila shoots me a sharp look.
“Are you alright?” Ines asks, her brow furrowed.
“Fine.” The word comes out rough. Almost a growl. “Watch where you’re moving.”
Her hazel eyes flash with confusion, then irritation. “I was only reaching for the bread.”
I don’t respond.
My hearts are still pounding, beating in unison, faster than they should.
What is wrong with me?
Towards the endof the meal, Heavy appears at my side. “What was that about?” His voice is low, meant only for me.
I don’t bother to pretend it didn’t happen. “Nothing.”
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“I said it’s nothing.”
On my other side, Rook chats with Ines about Singapore, about New Earth. She’s animated, gesturing with her hands, describing her home city with obvious affection. Her eyes light up when she talks about the food markets, the crowded streets, her family’s apartment.
I watch her gloved hands move. The way her fingers curl around her cup. The flash of her smile. I can’t stop watching. I’m annoyed that Rook is speaking to her, because it should be me, not him.
“You’re staring at her,” Heavy says.
“I’m monitoring her. There’s a difference.”
“Is there?”
My claws dig into the table. I force myself to look away. Focus on anything else. The children making a mess. Cannibal and Jana clearing plates. Across the table, Naomi leans into Chief’s side, his hand resting protectively over her stomach.
