Chapter48
Sienna
I thought this moment would feel more liberating, but the more I gaze into his eyes, I’m not so sure. I feel more conflict and less consolation than I was anticipating.
I’ve waited so long for this moment; to finally have answers, to be granted the gift of closure. But is closure a gift when you realize that the one that can close that painful chapter is the one who caused it in the first place? Even worse, the closure they can provide is nothing compared to the hole they will leave when they are absent from your life.
Carmine is the reason I have suffered the worst heartache I have ever experienced, aside from my parents passing. He is the reason Leo is gone, yet here I am, standing with the box that holds the answers he has the key to, and suddenly, I don’t want to go through with what I set out to do.
There is so much of him that reminds me of myself and that scares me. Nothing about him is good, except for how he makes me feel. Maybe that is enough. Maybe I am not any better than he is. Maybe we are a match made in Heaven or Hell, who even knows anymore what is real.
I feel like I don’t know anything anymore.
As much as I don’t want to see the contents of this box, I need to. I have to. For Leo.
“You stole that?” he accuses. He starts to inch toward me like a lion moving in toward its prey. Methodically planning the opportune moment to pounce.
Not this time, buddy.
“It was a gift,” I say, tightening my grip on the box with my gun still visibly planted underneath it.
“It’s not a gift if it was stolen,” he says, inching closer again.
I move the box away from the direction he is walking toward me.
“I don’t know who left it on my desk, but it is the gift I needed to end this torturous chapter in my life.” I take a deep breath. “To end you.” I let the finality of my words drip slowly off my tongue. Despite the inner turmoil I have suddenly been plagued with, I need to let him know that there is no way out of what he has done to me.
He takes yet another step closer to me, causing my heart to beat so fast that I swear I can hear it echo against my chest.
“I don’t know who took that and gave it to you, but this is not how I wanted you to—”
I cut him off. “What, find out that you killed my boyfriend?”
He shakes his head. “Sienna, you don’t know what you are talking about. You have absolutely no fucking idea what I have gone through.”
I step to him, and with both hands, I shove the box into his chest. “What you have gone through? Oh, please, whatever you think you have gone through has been nothing compared to the hell I have had to live all these years,” I say, pushing the box into his chest harder. “Now, open it!” I demand.
He takes the box from my grip, looking at me with pleading eyes.
I stand there, staring at him. Waiting for him to refuse, to argue, to say something. But he says nothing. Instead, he heads to the bookcase and places the box on the shelf next to what I immediately recognize as a collection of Poe’s poems. I recognize the binding because I have the same exact edition in my collection. It’s one of my favorite books that I re-read often.
He turns to me, as if oblivious to the situation at hand. “Do you like Poe, Ms. Ricci?” he asks.
Thrown off guard, as I am in almost all encounters with Carmine, I shake my head, trying to process my response. “Umm, yes, of course, I like Poe,” I reply, confused. “He is the only one of the classics that made my English lit degree tolerable,” I confess.
“No surprise there. You strike me as the dark romantic type. Much like myself.”
I shake my head, becoming increasingly agitated. Typical Carmine, always playing games. Too bad I refuse to let him win. Oh no, not this time.
Pistol still in my hand, I move to the bookcase that he is leaning against, aiming it right at him.
“Open the fucking box right now,” I demand
“Or what? You are going to shoot me?” He shrugs, without an ounce of fear in him.
“Yes!” I shout back
He clicks his tongue. “No, you are not. You would have done it already.” His tone is more of a reprimand, which sends my blood boiling. My finger is shaking on the trigger, but just as I am about to pull it, he begins to speak.
