He turned, eyes flashing red instead of the green I was used to, and roared, “Because I’m a monster.”
Staring him in the eyes, I waved him off. “You’re Ego.”
He scoffed. “I don’t even know what that means anymore.”
“No, I suppose you don’t.” I shook my head. “I’m not sure either, which is why I’m here.”
“You make no sense,” he said, snarling.
“No, I suppose I don’t.” I swallowed and licked my lips. I’d never been the best at eating crow. Honestly, in my life, I’d rarely been the mean one. I’d been bullied and mistreated more times than I liked to remember, but that was what made what I said—and how I handled Ego—next so important.
“Ego, listen.” I paused, watching him study me from the far wall. I sighed. “Can you sit? Please.”
He crouched down to his haunches, right where he stood.Okkkay.Fine. This was his time to freak out, not mine, so I’d have to roll with whatever made him comfortable. Plus, I was the one here to shake him out of it, wasn’t I?
“I want to start by apologizing to you.”
He scoffed. “For what? You don’t owe me anything.”
“I do. I was an asshole to you from the second we met, and you didn’t deserve that. It’s just…well, you didn’t meet Niles. He was my boyfriend who supposedly brought me to Willowhope Manor for a vacation to celebrate our anniversary.”
He nodded. “I’ve heard about him. He sounded like a real douche. How’d you even end up with something like that?”
“That’s a long story, but suffice it to say that Niles was the first man who’d ever shown me any real attention. We’d barely been able to make it as it was when Stevie was still alive, but after I lost him…it was hard. Really fuckin’ hard.
“I didn’t have a high school diploma, so I worked minimum wage jobs just trying to get by. I’m sure you know how expensive New York City is, so…” I trailed off, trying to collect my thoughts.
Ego didn’t need my life story. He only needed enough to understand why someone so confident, so sure of themselves,and their appeal like he was would make me uncomfortable to the point of acting like a dick.
“Anyway, Niles was a corporate guy. A real go-getter, and he was making a name for himself. He wore designer clothes, attended fancy parties, and moved through the world in a way I’d never even considered. So when he showed an interest in me, I don’t know. I lost part of myself.
“No.” I shook my head. “I gave up part of myself because if he said I needed to lose weight, dress a certain way, do this or that, then I figured he knew best. Does that make sense?”
Ego sat back on his butt, pulled his legs up, planted his feet on the floor, and rested his chin in the space between his knees. “Yeah, I can understand. He was manipulating you, though.”
“That’s the understatement of the year. He was totally gaslighting me. Every decision he made, every nicety he extended, was a means to an end. Like dating me. Looking back, I know he knew that Chance had bought Willowhope Manor. He started giving me scraps of his time just to have an excuse to come here with a boyfriend. I was never more than a disposable date. I’m such an idiot.”
“No,” Ego said firmly, sounding more like his old self. His fangs must’ve receded back to wherever they went. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Him mistreating you like that is on him.”
Yep, there was the Ego I’d observed all those weeks at the manor. Once I’d taken off the lens I’d been viewing him through, I immediately saw how badly I’d misjudged him.
“You’re right, but he’s not why I’mstillan idiot.” After clearing my throat—because this was so uncomfortable—I plunged on. “I’m beating myself up because of how I treated you. Can you be a bit of a tool? Yes.” I held up my hands. “Sorry, but that’s just the truth. Your flirty banter kinda made me gag.”
A complicated series of expressions crossed his face, but I didn’t give him a chance to answer. “But other than that, I wastotally unjustified in the way I treated you. Being confident isn’t a crime. Taking care of yourself and doing the things you enjoy isn’t a crime either. The truth is, I had an attitude toward you before I ever laid eyes on you in person.
“You had so many of those qualities that I’ve never had, traits like my narcissistic ex, that I never gave you a chance. And the reality is, you’re nothing alike. He’s dead inside, Ego. A piece of shit person. The exact opposite of you.”
“Maybe before, but I’m pretty sure I’m dead inside now,” he muttered. “And I was vain.”
I stood up, approaching him hesitantly. Gesturing toward the floor next to him, I asked, “Can I sit?”
He nodded.
“You were, but I think anyone would be in your shoes. The public adores you, your fanbase thinks you float amongst the angels, and from what myGooglesearch revealed, you’re loaded.”
Ego barked out a laugh, then jumped like he’d surprised himself. “You looked up my net worth?”
“Sure did. I knew what Nile made because he bragged about it constantly. I wanted to get a general idea of how much worse you were going to be.”
