I’m not exactly embarrassed about my complete lack of experience, sexually speaking. I guess I could count my dildos as experience, and I do, but the onlyexperienceI want is with Lex, so yeah, I’m not ashamed.
Notnowat least... now that I know he’s felt the same way as me this whole time. It is unusual, I know, for a twenty-one year old man to never have kissed anyone, but I have my reasons.
First and foremost, I’ve never been interested in kissing anyone but Lex, but there’s also the fact that Luxton Prep wasn’t really teeming with queer guys. My makeup and occasional skirts weretolerated, and even encouraged by some, but were never really celebrated.
I also decided to graduate extremely early, and didn’t go to college despite Dad’s encouragement for me to do so. I’ve always learned better on my own, and besides, I already knew everything I needed to.
Sure, that decision came back to bite me in the ass when boredom kicked in and led me to make stupid—even if very funny in hindsight—decisions and the FBI appeared on our doorstep, but that’s neither here nor there. I’ve learned a lot since then. Especially how to cover my tracks better.
What matters even more than the fear of rejection is that in that awful, painful, hopeful, and beautiful moment with Lex, it didn’t feel like the right time to tell him that since he’s the only person I’ve ever wanted to kiss, I’ve never kissed anyone else.
Man, do I want to kiss him. I can’t fucking wait for that moment. I just know that when we’re finally able to get everything we want, it’s going to be magical.
I don’t want to pester him about checking his trade clause with his agent or urge him to put a list of teams together, but what I can do is get started on my side of things.
With that in mind, I do something I haven’t done in freaking years and download social media apps to my phone.
Of course, I don’t have the passwords to my personal accounts stored anywhere, but I’m still using the same email, so at least I can set new ones up easily enough.
I do a quick search for Lex’s name and find what I need almost instantly. I keep it simple with the first thing I post. It’s a replyto a Buffalo fan’s post about me being at the game to watch Lex. It has a picture of me attached, one taken at a moment when I was arguing with an LA fan, interestingly enough. The man was sitting right next to me and he was grumbling about Lex missing a pass.
@buffncold
Eli Ellsworth in the stands, arguing with an Empire fan in fucking Buffalo while watching his older brother play, is the most youngest-sibling thing I’ve seen all year.
@eliellsworth @buffncold
Excuse you, I’m an only child. If anyone here is the typical youngest child, it’s Lex. He’s spoiled, but he’s got nothing on me.
I put that away for five minutes to check the email I just received from Harrison’s head of IT, and reply quickly, offering to meet her today or tomorrow and proposing a few timeframes. She gets back to me before the five minutes are up, and knowing I’m going to have to eat something on the way to the office to make sure my team is ready for a visit, I check my response only four minutes after posting to see if it’s having the desired response.
@empiresbunny
The fact that @eliellsworth came out of his cave and went online only to demand the internet recognize that he’s more spoiled than Alexei is sending me
@theruleroftheempire
sir, did you disown your brothers?
And that is the very best opening I could’ve hoped for.
@eliellsworth @theruleroftheempire
Stop calling them my brothers, that’s weird. Lex is my best friend. Vinny’s just always there (no offense but we really have a better time when he’s not being the fun police)
I think that’s pretty straightforward, and if people don’t get it after this, it’s because they can’t read. Still, a few answers load on the screen even as I’m closing down my systems. As I walk down to the kitchen to beg Sam for something to eat, I can’t keep the smirk off my face as I take out my phone and do the right thing and text Vinny.
Eli:
I’m starting a fire over on Threads. Don’t get offended, I’m just trying to make a point. I still think you’re fun... sometimes.
His reply comes while I’m shoveling the last bite of my scrambled eggs with ham into my mouth.
Vinny:
You’re a menace. But I see what you’re doing. I’m going to fan the flames while I can before Si (the *actual* fun police) takes my phone away.
I snort.
