None of them have ever pushed me away or done anything to make me feel unwelcome, but since Wolf and Hawk are Lex and Vinny’s cousins, and because Si and Lottie are their honorary cousins, I always felt like I was just... there.
Even when their significant others—Derek, CJ, and Colin—joined the family one at a time, it still felt like they immediately fit in better than me. They did ask questions about my life, madesure I was included, but it’s not until today that I’ve felt like I’m really surrounded by family.
To be fair, I’m still jumpy, more on edge than is appropriate, but I doubt any of them would blame me if they knew Lex had slept in my bed the past two nights, that he’d held me and let me hold him, and that we still haven’t even fucking kissed.
I’ve always known that I wear my feelings for him on my sleeve, and aside from not saying it outright, I’ve never hidden them. There have always been soft—borderline pitying—smiles aimed at me, but this time the smiles have been wider, more knowing.
I know they think we’re fucking left and right the second we’re out of their sight, and honestly that would be pretty fantastic, but no...
It’s ridiculous at this point, for me to be this desperate. If anything, I should be fucking used to it, but I’m not.
I’ve learned and accepted that wanting Lex like I want my next breath isn’t something that will ever go away, it’s not something I’ll ever get used to.
My need for him is a living shadow that follows me wherever I go, and it only grows stronger when I’m this close to him. When I get to feel that addictive calmness he always brings.
Today there are a few good distractions, though, like Vinny grabbing Lex by the back of his collar and dragging him out of the house and to the park for “a chat,” or Elle dragging me into the kitchen to help cook “so I don’t end up as useless in the kitchen as Lyla, Dad, and Ruko,” which is a fair assessment and has everyone laughing because she said it affectionately.
Dazed, and more tired than I ever thought cooking could make me, I’m excused to get ready for dinner once everything is done, and I take my sweet time in the shower, selecting my shimmery red skirt that reaches my ankles but has a high slit to mid-thigh.
I also take longer than usual with my makeup, to make sure my winged eyeliner is symmetrical and the gold glitter on my lids doesn’t transfer. I even put on some blush and juicy gloss on my lips, feeling in the spirit.
It’s been hours since I’ve seen Lex by now, but I did hear the deep baritone of his voice when he came back from his chat with Vinny, so when I’m satisfied with my look for the festivities, I hurry out of my bedroom to find him.
It takes no time at all.
His foot is on the first step up the staircase when I’m walking down, and when he sees me, every ounce of tiredness leaves me.
I take three steps down slowly, letting the slit part and show most of my leg, and I enjoy every tiny movement on Lex’s face.
The way his mouth parts, the way his eyes flit over every inch of me rapidly as if he can’t choose what to focus on until they lock on my lips. He sucks in a deep breath before stepping fully onto the stairs.
I stop two steps above him so we’re eye to eye, and I’m about to fling myself at him when he rests one hand on my waist and brings the other up to my cheek.
“Fuck, angel.” The croaky whisper is possibly the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.
“You like it?” I ask, not able to form any more words to specify what.
“I more than like it.” His head bobs in a few nods before his eyes travel down my body again.
That means he leans back, and that just won’t do.
I bring both hands to the sides of his neck and use my thumbs to tilt his chin up. I want him looking right at me.
“Are you happy?”
A slow, satisfied smile grows on his face as he nods again, just once now.
“I am.”
He knows what I’m really asking, what I want, and it brings back that cocky confidence I’ve always loved.
“Then maybe you could?—”
The world goes white and silent, as his soft lips finally connect with mine.
It’s sweet and slow for just a moment, a perfect moment that I know I’ll never forget, but then...
I part his lips with my tongue, lick inside, desperate all at once for a taste of him, for a chance to show him in a new way how much I love him.
