“Nononono, wait, Eli.” I spin on my heel, already bolting to take it up to my office. “Eli! You like me, don’t you?”
I know I don’t have long, so I put all my energy into taking the steps up two at a time. I can hear thundering steps behind me, but I make it with enough time to close and lock the door behind me.
There are three hard pounds against the door just a second after. I breathe out hard, and finally look at the screen.
I don’t go snooping in his chat with Derek because I don’t want to need my eyes bleached. Instead, I go right to the gold mine—his chat with Wolf.
Since the pounding on the door is only getting louder and faster, I know I don’t have much time before Hawk forces Derek tobreak the door down—that would be a disaster for my security system—so I hurry to connect the phone to my computer and download the whole text history between the brothers.
I thank my custom PC for being the best thing I’ve ever owned when it takes less than thirty seconds to download probably decades of texts, and now I have infinite bribing material. I also download the two pictures he took of us—and keep them in a locked folder forreasons—before deleting them completely off his phone.
After shutting everything down, I yank the door open, and Hawk stumbles in, clearly caught off guard and with ridiculous fear written all over his face.
I hold the phone out to him and instead of snatching it back, he looks down at it warily.
“It’s not going to explode in your hand,” I tell him, and roll my eyes at him. “But if you ever piss me off, you better believe I’m gonna share some interesting screenshots.”
Just like I suspected, Derek is right behind Hawk, and he’s the one whose face loses all its color, interestingly enough. Hawk makes a sound that suggests he’s choking on air, and I give him a little reprieve.
“I have your complete chat with yourbrothersaved on my computer. I didn’t want my young mind traumatized by whatever you two get up to.” I wag a finger at them, then push them gently to let me pass and walk back down. “Now, come on, I’m hungry. And remember...” I pause just for dramatic effect and look back at them. “It’s in your best interest to behave.”
As I walk down, I snicker at Hawk’s words.
“I can’t believe Aunt Lyla betrayed me like that.”
“You’re gonna have to get in line now,” Derek grumbles, and I can’t help but wonder what the hell I’m going to find in that chat history.
11
Lex
My restraint has been strong for years—for a decade, for fuck’s sake—but it broke like a skinny twig at one soft smile of glossy lips from Eli.
The skirt also helped.
I’d like to think it was more the look of contentment on Eli’s face, followed by his simple delight at seeing me. It made me feel ten feet tall and two feet tall at the same time.
On the one hand, he lovesme. He, for some unknown reason, has thought of me as deserving of his love and friendship from the moment we met.
Then there’s the reality that I’m a big enough piece of shit to have denied him, to have literally rejected him. Looking back, I can see that although I thought myself so very mature, I was also just a kid back then. I was scared, and I do think I had a reason to be scared, but those reasons have started to matter less and less.
And so I broke.
I don’t regret the kiss, or the chaos with Hawk after. I can’t, because Eli looked so full of life and mischief when Mom gave him Hawk’s phone. It was objectively hilarious, even if I don’t want to know why Derek in particular was so panicked—Iknowwhy, but I don’t want to, and by the reluctantly amused smirks on the rest of our family’s faces, I’m not alone there either.
Now, hours later, the lip gloss is gone.
It was partially gone after the best kiss of my life, but dinner and a couple of cups of eggnog made it disappear completely.
Eli’s beauty shines on, though.
His smile is a soft gift in the low light of the fireplace and the twinkling lights of the tree. He hugs Michael good night, then goes around the room one by one when it’s declared unanimously that it’s time for bed.
“We need to go to sleep so Santa can come!” No one groans or scoffs at Dad’s excited declaration. Christmas has been a huge thing for him since he met Mom about a million years ago. He made Christmas magic for us when we were kids, and was more heartbroken when we found out than we were, so we let him have his fun. In the past couple of years, Ally has joined forces with him, and now they take their sneaking around to put presents under the tree very seriously.
She’s good for him, melts him in a way Mom never did. I can see that now, and it’s only made me more grateful for Michael and everything his love for Mom changed for us.
This melancholy feeling isn’t something I’m used to, but I suppose it makes sense, seeing everything that’s going on in my life right smack in the middle of the holiday season. It seems like a perfect storm, ripe ground for all types of feelings.
