“I get it,” I confess. “Before Dad met your Mom I didn’t really notice, but looking back I know how lonely he was, and nowadays I still like to make sure he’s not alone a lot.”
Lex turns to the front of the plane to see Ruko and Lyla talking quietly too.
“I told Hawk and Wolf that they better make a habit of spending more time with him.” His lips twitch, and I just bet he went all protective son on them. I know they probably thought he was more cute than anything, but I still hope they follow up on it.
“Maybe he will be making that move to Vegas,” I muse, but Lex shakes his head.
“I doubt it. He’ll fly over more often, don’t get me wrong, but his life is in LA. Ally, Uncle Paul, and Aunt Elle are there. I just...” He trails off and sighs. I squeeze his hand again to show him I’mstill here, I’ll wait, I’ll listen. “I feel like I wasted so much of the time we could’ve had while I played for the Empire. If I’d just told him about everything before, maybe things would’ve been different.”
I stay silent for a long moment, wondering if I even have the words to make him feel better about it, because what I think might just make him feel worse.
“I think that beating yourself up for what’s already over and done probably won’t help anyone,” I start out slowly. “What you can do now is what matters. Telling him you want him to come in the first place is already a good thing, but Lex, you gotta remember that youdidtell him. Eventually. And from everything you’ve told me about your old teammates, I honestly doubt there’s anything either of you could’ve done. Maybe having your Dad know and possibly do something about it would’ve made everything worse. You’ll never know, and I don’t want you spending who knows how long wondering.”
“I guess,” he mumbles, but after a moment he nods, settles deeper into the seat’s cushions, and nods. “I’ll try.”
And isn’t that the only thing we can ever do?
16
Eli
January 10th
We hit the ground running the moment we touch down at La Guardia.
It’s Saturday morning in the city, and I have to get to work even if I don’t really want to—which I make very clear to Lex when I drag him and his suitcase up to my bedroom.
“But you love working,” he reasons with an adorably confused frown and head tilt.
“I do, and I also think it’s going to be good for you to spend some real quality time with the whole parental unit before Patrick gets here on Tuesday and you have to start actually working. I’ll set an alarm, though. For dinner.”
The smile and easy goodbye kiss he offers me is the most perfectly domestic thing that we’ve ever done, and I never want it to end. I never want to know another reality.
He goes right over to start unpacking his suitcase. We don’t even discuss if he’ll take over part of my closet, and I’m thankful that like me, he feels we don’t need to.
During the flight, he told me he plans on renting or maybe buying a house near the training facility outside the city, which is also closer to the airport for pure logistical purposes, and that’s where all his furniture from LA will eventually go, but before I could spiral into a sudden depressive episode at the thought of not seeing him every day that he’s not on the road, he asked me to help him look for places.
I agreed immediately, of course.
The prospect of spending hours with him on a research binge into what kind of houses Lex likes or sees himself living in is exciting enough, but the fact that he wants my input is what really makes me feel like nothing in the world can possibly bring me down.
It makes me think he might want me to spend considerable time there, right?
I also guess he’ll spend plenty of nights in the city—at home—whenever he has home games and doesn’t want to make the long drive to Jersey. Barclay Arena is only seven blocks away from the brownstone after all.
I snap out of my love-filled thoughts when the door to my office is suddenly in front of me. It’s time to use my brain. I put in the security code for a full lockdown on my office, then get to work.
First order of business is catching up with the office, and that means an hour-long call with Stella, Franco, and Dario. Sure, it hasn’t even been two weeks since I last saw them, and I did have to spend more than a few hours working while I was in LA. I evenstayed in touch while Lex was in the hospital. But since we’re working on getting the servers ready for the first data dump from Wall Banking—yes, Shirley decided thatI’mthe person she wants to trust with her bank’s most sensitive information—it’s necessary to stay on top of things.
“I’m available to help in any way I can, guys,” I try to press. “Please don’t wait too long to call me if you have any questions or... anything.”
I really don’t want to fuck this up, but I don’t want to put that kind of pressure on my team. I mean sure, they’re well aware of who Wall Banking is, who Shirley is, so there’s gotta be some pressure to get this done perfectly already. I don’t need to add to it no matter how anxious I am about it.
“We’ve got this,” Dario says confidently, and I can see his face set into a determined frown on my monitor. “But if we need anything, we’ll reach out.”
I exhale and nod. “Thanks.”
“You also need to get back to work, Eli, so let us do the same,” Stella says in her perfectly efficient and calming tone.
