“I guess that’s true, but you didn’t end up in Chicago, so maybe people won’t look too deeply into it?”
“I guess...” I trail off, thinking that yeah, she has a point.
Also, normally hockey fans are well aware of how difficult it is to play for the big market teams, and they understand that I’m not in a great spot in New York now. It’s also widely known that Jim Barclay’s an asshole who doesn’t care too much for my family.
On the other hand, this is my “hometown” team and where the man I love—or my best friend according to the internet—lives. So...
I just blurt it out.
“Eli got Tucker Barclay to set everything up for the trade at least a month ago, I think. He told him I’d waived my no-trade clause and that LA would start shopping me around before anyone else found out. That’s why the trade went through so fast.”
“Because they were ready for it,” Lottie concludes, and I don’t know if she really is just impossibly collected or if she saw this coming.
“Yes. And I didn’t ask him to do that,” I hurry to add.
“Of course you didn’t, Alexei,” she snaps, and that... makes me feel better—she knows me. “I’m going to get to the emotional side in a moment, but first let’s be practical.”
“Okay.” Fuck, I’d really like to be practical first.
“Let’s just think about the possibility of someone who isn’t supposed to getting wind of this. All the people who know, as far as we know, are you, Eli, and Tucker.”
“Yes, as far asweknow?—”
“Let me finish,” she says tersely. She obviously waits for me to interrupt again, but continues when I don’t. “You have a lot to lose if this gets out, yeah. But so does Tucker. You think thatlittle shit is stupid enough to tellanyone? I doubt there’s a single man in the Demons’ building he trusts enough to tell that he knew about this. We also have no fucking idea how he made all this happen, so we can’t be sure he succeeded. Who the fuck knows? Maybe New York really did get lucky.”
I snort while shaking my head, but I do smile.
“It’s a nice thought, but we both know it’s not true. I don’t think Patrick’s gotten any answers as to who called who, but he was notified only a couple of hours after I was carted off the ice.”
“Sure, but who knows what happened behind closed doors,” she counters. “And you seem to be forgetting that the league reviews all trades.”
That . . . is a good fucking point.
“Uh-huh,” she says, interpreting my silence correctly. “So Tucker’s sure as shit not going to tell anyone, though I do recommend you have a conversation with him to make sure absolutely no one else knows. Eli, of course, wouldn’t tell on himself, and who would he tell anyway?”
“Yeah, well, I might’ve shouted at him... a lot.”
“Shit, yeah,” she whispers and I hear her suck in a deep breath. “The emotional side. Tell me what happened,” she says gently.
It’s like the floodgates bursting open.
I talk for what feels like five straight minutes until I run out of words, until all I can remember is Eli’s tear-streaked face looking helplessly up at me.
It drives a knife into my heart that I wasn’t able to feel or fully process last night.
“I don’t think you’re wrong for being angry,” Lottie says, speaking slowly.
“You don’t think I crossed the line?”
That’s what’s worrying me the most after recounting it all to her.
“I think the only person whose answer to that matters is Eli, but Lex...” The way she trails off, like she’s hesitant to say what she means, has alarm bells going off inside me. Lottie always says what she means. “I think this is a good thing,” she eventually blurts out, the words almost coming out as one.
“What? How the fuck can this be a good thing?” I demand.
“Don’t snap at me,” she says, and I tighten my jaw and wait for her to explain herself.
“Look. The fact is, Eliisperfect for you, and you’re perfect for him. Anyone who’s ever seen you two together can tell you this, but you’ve always worshipped the ground he walks on. I’m not saying the man doesn’t deserve at least a little worship, he’s amazing, has been doing impossible things even before he was an adult, and yeah, maybe he’s a bit naïve, but he gets things done and he worships you right back. You calling him ‘angel’ isn’t a bad thing, but I think you’ve believed for a long time that he has no flaws. You’ve always thought he’s too good for you. And he’s not,” she adds at the end as if she’s already anticipating my next words.
