“Yes,” Hadley says quietly before I can speak.
My head jerks in her direction.
What?
Mr. and Mrs. Daniels gape, too. It’s the first word she’s uttered since stepping into the room, and she’s the very last person I expected to speak up for me.
“Visiting hours start in about fifteen minutes,” the doctor says. “Two visitors at a time. You’ll need to wear PPE to protect Hudson. His immune system’s compromised.”
He shakes our hands again, then he’s off, leaving us in heartbroken silence.
I drop into the nearest chair and drag my hands down my face.
Hudson’s alive.
The words should feel like relief. Instead, terror coils tighter in my chest.
Critical condition. Brain swelling. Forty-eight hours.
He could still slip through my fingers, and I don’t know how to stop it.
Hadley sits beside me and tentatively takes my hand.
I stare at her, but she’s looking down at our entwined fingers. “I know Mom already said it, but… thank you for saving him.”
Mrs. Nora's arms crushed around me so tightly last night that I could barely breathe when she thanked me.
She called me Hudson’s hero.
I didn’t know what to say.
Heroes don’t let the people they love get to the point of jumping in the first place.
“Did you think I’d just watch him jump and accept it?” My throat tightens around the words, my brain instantly throwing me back to Hudson’s body plummeting towards the river before I could stop him.
“No,” she whispers.
Mr. and Mrs. Daniels have already gone back to see Hudson, and my parents aren’t anywhere to be seen. Ella has gone back to her spot in the corner of the waiting room, giving Hadley and me space.
“You know this is our fault. At least, part of it.” The admission guts me, but it’s the truth. Hudson was drowning long before he jumped, and none of us stopped it.
“I told him he’d be doing us all a favor if he jumped off the bridge,” she says, voice breaking. “I had no idea he was struggling. No one ever told me, and I didn’t care enough to ask. You were right.” Hadley squirms in her seat. “I’m selfish. I was so hurt and blinded by you two together that I lashed out. I wanted my words to hurt. I wanted him to feel the pain that I was going through.” She starts to cry, her soft sobs floating around me. Her body shakes, fat tears dropping onto our clasped hands.
My jaw tightens, heat flaring in my chest. “You knew. You saw what you were doing to him. You just didn’t care.” I yank my hand away and clutch Hud’s notebook, staring at the waiting room doors hard enough for my eyes to ache. “If you’re looking for someone to absolve you of your sins, you’ve come to the wrong person.”
“I’m not. I have to live with what I’ve done. I just hope Hud forgives me one day.” She wipes her face, her quiet sniffles the only sound in the room.
My thumb rubs the spine of the notebook before offering it to Hadley. “Here. He’d want you to read it.”
Hadley stares at the notebook for a long second. She’s barely looked at it since the police handed it over. Their parents couldn’t bring themselves to read it, so they gave it to me to keep.
She takes a shuddering breath. “How bad is it?” Her hand shakes as she finally takes it, flipping through the pages until she finds Hudson’s letter.
“It’s a suicide note. What do you think?” The words come out flat and hollow.
Hadley dips her chin, flinching.
“Sorry,” I mumble.
