He rests his forehead against mine, our breaths clashing between us. “I’ll never not worry about you, but I’d be an idiot if I didn’t acknowledge the changes you’ve made. I’m proud of you.”
My lips meet his in a tender kiss, thanking him without words for his love and support.
Cullen’s stomach growls, effectively slicing through the mood. It makes me laugh. “Come on, let me feed you,” I say, linking our fingers and following the smell of sizzling fajitas and fresh salsa.
Cull walks ahead to the large table where everyone is seated, but I stop just shy to take in the scene. My parents are laughing, both more carefree than I’ve seen in months. Hadley jokingly smacks Cullen in the shoulder, rolling her eyes but chuckling at something he said. Ella is talking to Mrs. Eliza, and Dr. Anderson is looking over his menu.
My heart beats rapidly—not from fear or anxiety—but from energy and life. I know there are probably more dark days ahead, but remembering that I am loved, that I’mneeded, is all it takes for me to keep going.
This, right here, is all that really matters.
Chapter thirteen
Cullen
Iwake to the sound of my own voice screaming—or at least I thought I was screaming. It’s just a memory, though, one that haunts me constantly. My heart is pounding, and the vision of Hudson’s broken body lying sprawled in the overgrown grass by the river refuses to dissipate from my mind. My palms are sweaty against my face as I try to rub the sleep from my eyes, my teeth aching from clenching.
The deep-rooted fear that this could all happen again one day consumes my every thought. I think I’m slowly coming to understand how easy it was for Hudson to listen to the lies his brain told him, because irrational fears are sometimes easier to accept than reality.
Hud still has shadows, but they don’t seem to own him anymore. Mine keep threatening to drag me under.
My darkness isn’t like Hudson’s.
It’s more malicious.
More violent.
Each time I have to relive those moments from the day Hud jumped, I retreat a little further into myself. The anger gets louder, harder to igno—
Rolling over, I sit up on the side of my bed, head bowed. My hands scrub down my face as I force the thoughts away.
I can’t let him see that I’m not okay.
Hudson wants me to come over later for our Sunday hang out, something we haven’t done in months. It’ll be like before we started dating, just playing PlayStation and stuffing our faces full of junk food.
Except now, I can kiss him whenever I want.
That should make me smile.
Instead, all I can think about is Mason.
The police lack evidence that it’s him, so maybe that’s what I need to do. Find the right evidence to finally get him put the hell away for good.
I shove off my bed and grab some clothes from my dresser, throwing them on haphazardly. I speed through brushing my teeth, then sneak out of the house before either of my parents have a chance to stop me.
Mom still nags me about needing rest, saying that I’m overextending myself.
I’ll rest when all this shit finally blows over.
If it ever does.
The sky has opened up, fat raindrops pelting me as I make a dash to my truck. Thunder rumbles as I slide into the driver’s seat and slam the door.
With my mind made up, I navigate my way a few neighborhoods over until I’m parked on the curb in front of Mason’s house.
It looks different through the haze of the morning thunderstorm. Not as foreboding as it was at night, but still impressive in its size. The grass has been cut since the last timeHud and I snuck in. Weird, considering the rest of the place is an unkempt shithole.
Swiping my hand under the seat, my fingers snag the cold metal of my gun. I make sure the safety is on before I shove it in the back of my waistband, adjusting my shirt so it covers the bulge. Taking a deep breath, I open my truck door and make a mad dash for the cover of the front porch.
