He takes a deep breath, his head leaning against his wooden headboard. “I had an emergency appointment after I left Ella’s.” He pauses, his eyes scrunched closed. “After I realized she attempted to drug me. Again.”
My jaw hangs open, speechless.
I fucking knew it.
“You were right,” he whispers, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallows hard. “She drugged me at Katie’s party that night. She was going to—” He breathes out, trying to compose himself.
I’m still shell-shocked, processing this information at a snail's pace. I’ve been hard on Ella, and I always suspected she was up to some shady shit, but I always held out hope that I was wrong—for Hudson’s sake.
“And Heather…” He laughs dryly. “Ella planted my pill bottle.”
I grind my teeth, the chair creaking from how hard I’m gripping the armrest.
“You slept late today.” It’s a statement, but I can see Hudson understands what I mean by it.
“Ella put something in my soda yesterday. It made me tired but didn’t put me out. I don’t know if I didn’t drink enough or if I’ve built some kind of a tolerance because of the meds I was on in the hospital, but whatever she gave me didn’t give her the result she was hoping for.” He shifts down on the bed, turning on his side and tucking his hands under his head. “After everything happened, I called Maria and made a beeline to her office. I was there for almost two hours unpacking everything, then I came home and crashed.”
My knee bounces, fire licking my veins. I want to hit something. A wall. A face.
Anything to ease my anger.
“Come here,” Hud calls softly, scooting over to make room for me to lie next to him. I toe off my shoes and slide in, wrapping an arm around him. My nose grazes his, the contact soothing my rattled nerves.
“I’m okay,” Hud says, kissing my chin. “Really, I am. I came close to a panic attack yesterday, but I was able to cut it off. Then I called Maria.”
My lips meet his in a soft kiss. “I’m sorry for yelling at you when I came in. You not answering my calls brought back some… feelings.” I clear my throat and give Hud a tense smile.
He kisses me again, his gentle forgiveness filling some of the jagged cracks in my heart.
We stay hooked around each other for a few silent moments before Hud speaks quietly. “I’m worried about you.”
“I’m fine.” It’s my default answer. If I say it enough, it’ll make it true. “And don’t worry about me. I’m more concerned with how you are after yesterday. I can’t believe what Ella did.”
“Me either.” He stares into my eyes, his clear and the most stunning shade of Caribbean blue. “I cried. I got pissed. Hell, part of me still wants to call her every name in the book.” He lets out a humorless laugh, his gaze dropping to the blankets between us. “Mostly, I’m just sad. It feels weird to say, but it’s almost like I’m mourning a death. The person I thought Ella was, she doesn’t exist. Maybe she never did.” He swallows hard. “Sitting with Maria helped me realize that no amount of anger is going to change what happened.”
I breathe out the rest of my anxiety and rest my head on his chest.
“You’re not okay, babe,” Hud states softly, continuing to force the issue.
“I told you I was fine, Hud.”
“No, you’re not. Something is going on with you, and it’s eating you alive. You think you’re hiding it, but I can see it. I’ve lived it, babe. You don’t have to hide from me.”
The image flashes so suddenly my stomach turns—Mason sprinting through the house while I fired blindly after him, the cracking sound of gunshots, tiny droplets of blood on the hardwood.
For a second, I consider telling him. The words rise all the way to the back of my throat before I swallow them down.
“I’m okay,” I lie again.
He gives me that look that says he’s not buying it. He cups my cheek, his forehead resting against mine. “Promise you’ll talk to me if it gets too heavy. We have to practice what we preach, you know.”
I snort and kiss his forehead.
It’s not lost on me that I’ve gone from demanding truth and honesty from Hud to being a coward who can’t confront his own issues. But I swore to myself that I would be what Hudson needs, and I can’t do that if I allow myself to fall apart.
Hudson will always come first.
Even if it costs me.
