I snort. “Like couples therapy? Isn’t it a bad sign that you want us to go together?”
“Not like couples therapy.” He pinches my hip in return. “But I think maybe we could benefit from having someone who that can help us navigate our feelings.”
My head cocks to the side, not following.
Hud sees my confusion and explains. “I’ve always been scared you’d be better off without me. That I’m a burden. Not just to you—to everyone. That’s why I tried to break up with you. I wanted your happiness above my own, when in reality, we deserve to be happy, together—equally.”
His thumb brushes my bottom lip. “And I think you are harboring fear that I may try again. It’s creating anger that I don’t want to lead to resentment.”
“Hud, I don’t resent you.”
“Maybe not now, and maybe not ever, but I don’t want to wake up one day and you hate me because of what I did.” He brings his hands up to the sides of my neck, his thumbs framingmy jaw. “If we go together, we can have someone help us make sense of our feelings and teach us how to communicate better. I know we are only eighteen, but you’re endgame, Cull. We need to be healthy to thrive. Individually and together. If we get the tools now, we can conquer anything down the road.”
He’s right. I never would have looked at it that way, assuming therapy would mean that we aren’t as solid as I thought we were. It can only help to strengthen us, which is exactly what Hud is saying.
I smile. “So, couples therapy?”
Hud rolls his eyes. “Okay, fine. It’s couples therapy. But it’s to help us grow, not salvage something that is crumbling. We’re solid, and I want to keep it that way.”
“Me too. It’s a good idea.”
“I’ll talk to Maria about it at my appointment tomorrow, see what she suggests.” Hud pecks my lips, his smile soft.
“Speaking of…” I blow out a breath and fish my phone out of my pocket. I scroll until I find the number I want and hit call. It rings for a moment before a female voice comes through the line.
“Hey, Maria? It’s Cullen Anderson…”
Chapter twenty-five
Hudson
“Alright, Hudson, our time is almost up. Anything else you want to talk about before you go?”
I’m sitting on the floor in Maria’s office, my back against the couch. It’s my preferred spot when I have my appointments, though, I’m not sure why. Maria says it’s because the physical discomfort keeps me from fixating on the emotional kind. She’s the expert, so I’ve never questioned her.
She even sits on the floor across from me.“To keep things on my level,”she said.
The first day I came, I promptly slid from the couch onto the floor, too anxious and angry to sit still on the plush cushions. Maria didn’t ask questions, didn’t even look funny at me. Just grabbed her coffee mug, sat on the carpet across from me, and proceeded with our session. From that, I knew I could be myself and open up to her instantly.
“Yeah, actually.” We’ve just finished talking about my perspective of yesterday. I didn’t delve too much into whathappened because that’s Cull’s story to tell, but I told Maria enough so she could talk me through the guilt Cullen’s breakdown brought me. As always, she reassured me that guilt will come and go, but that I need to work on forgiving myself. Some days are easier than others, but when it comes to how my actions have affected Cull? Those are the days I feel the worst.
“I’ve had this gut feeling lately that maybe Mason isn’t my stalker.” I gauge Maria’s reaction, but as usual, she keeps her professional demeanor.
“Okay, and why do you think that is?” Maria sits patiently, as she always does, while I gather my thoughts.
“Well, it just doesn’t make any sense.” It’s all I can come up with, because really, it doesn’t make sense.
“Can you elaborate?”
I go through all the reasons why the story doesn’t add up. How did he get into school undetected? How did he find out about Cull and me? How did he get our phone numbers?
“Am I crazy?” I ask when I finish.
Maria cuts me a look. She had to shut that line of thinking down on day one when all I could do was call myself crazy.
“Sorry, but I mean it hypothetically this time.”
She chuckles. “I’ll allow itthistime only.”
