“I…” What could I say? Go shake it off because this wasn’t real? What right did I have to tell him how he felt?
At the same time, he didn’t love me. He couldn’t. We were just two souls tangled up in the complications of forced proximity. Nothing more. There wasn’t any lovey-dovey endgame for us, and I didn’t want there to be.
Right?
Fuck. I should pull away from him, end this spell of heavy breathing, of heat pooling in my belly, of an unwelcome rush of excitement in every fiber of my being.
“Say something,” he purred, his breath a soft cloud on my lips.
I shuddered, thinking of Declan now imprisoned below, of those executioners lost in the maze of this palace. And I thought of me and how I’d lost myself.
Finding comfort in a vampire? Admitting an attraction and even trying to reckon myself with it?
Damn. The mess in my head got worse, splattering those bony walls.
His warmth didn’t help, its blanket of sanctuary luring me deeper, waking up voices that shouldn’t exist.
“Silvanus,” I returned. “I… I…”
His fingers drew soft circles on my scalp.
Don’t do that.
Please don’t do that.
It felt so, so good.
Riddled with contrasting emotions, feeling like I’d strung the guy along, I stepped back. Cold rushed in between us, my heart lurched with regret. He’d just seen the truth of what happened to his realm, seen his journey into this one, and heard his sister’s name. He didn’t need another gut punch to the soul.
But I had to cut this cord. Love could go fuck itself. I didn’t want to hurt Silvanus, but this needed to be stopped immediately.
Does it, though?
Shaking off the doubt, I offered him the weakest of smiles. “I’m…”
Damn the sparkle in his peepers. Damn the hopeful glow on his incredibly handsome face. Why did he have to look so happy?
Him and I? Just us two?
I steeled myself against my thoughts. “I’m sorry, but I don’t feel the same.” Every word left a toxic aftershock on my tongue. But I carried on anyway. “This isn’t love. This is…too much.”
The sparkles died in his eyes, the euphoric sheen gone. He slanted his head, blinking a few times as if to clear something. But he didn’t speak, only regarded me with a cold gaze.
Like the old Silvanus would, the one I’d first met in that club bathroom.
Bollocks. “I care about you,” I said honestly. “I’m attracted to you, and I want to…” Ugh. I didn’t know what to add other than, “I just don’t love you back. I’m sorry. And don’t pin your affections on me. I’m not worth it. It’ll only lead to?—”
He left the room in a blur of speed, the shock killing my words.
Colder, colder, colder. The air felt like it had been sucked from my lungs, my heart crushed by an iron fist.
What have I done?
“Been honest,” I responded to my inner voice. “Spared us both.”
From what?
I collapsed to my knees, the soft carpet swallowing the impact.
