CHAPTER 25
TABBY
Nothing is working.
No matter how many times I get in trouble, no matter how many times I’m scolded for doing something reckless or dangerous, my heart remains stubbornly unconvinced that it actuallymeansanything.
I’m wide awake again well before the sun comes up, trying to figure out how to convince my heart of something it refuses to accept. I had another nightmare last night, the same one, and I woke with tears on my cheeks and an old, familiar ache in my chest. For some reason, my brain seems stuck on that single event.
And then it hits me, a truth so obvious I can’t believe it took me this long to realize it.
If that night at the beach is what my subconscious is so stuck on, then I need to recreate that night.Proveto myself, once and for all, that my family will react differently than my foster family did under the exact same circumstances.
My heart feels like it might pound right out of my chest as I slowly wriggle my way out of Daddy’s large bed. At one point, herolls over, and I freeze, panic making my head spin as I watch him carefully to make sure he hasn’t woken up.
When I’m sure he’s still asleep, I slide off the bed, my bare feet silently pressing against the cold hardwood. Dressed in nothing but one of Daddy’s t-shirts and my diaper, I creep toward the bedroom door. I don’t dare risk going into my nursery to get different clothes for fear Daddy will wake up. If that happens, I’ll get my butt spanked for being out of bed, but I still won’tknow.
And I desperately,desperatelyneed to know.
The fact that I’m able to slip from the bedroom completely undetected feels like a sign from the universe that I’m doing the right thing. The only problem is, now that I’m out in the hall, I have no idea where to go. In a house the size of ours, there are plenty of hiding places, but they’re all too easily discoverable.
In order for my plan to work, I need my family to think I’ve actually gone missing.
Frustrated, I stalk over to a window and stare out over the grassy area between our house and the woods. I could go hide there, maybe climb a tree or something.
But I’ve heard way too many horror stories of people getting lost in the woods in areas like this to take that risk. I want to prove that my family loves me, notactuallyrisk getting lost forever or worse, come face to face with some kind of wild animal.
No, what I need is somewhere that’s out of the way but mostly safe. Somewhere my family won’t find me easily, without actually putting my life in danger.
As I’m staring out the window, an idea takes root. It’s risky, but not nearly as risky as hiding out in the woods with the bears and whatever else might be waiting to eat naughty Little girls like me.
With a glance over my shoulder to make sure I’m not in any danger of being caught yet, I flip open the lock on the window—which to my shock actually works, I half expected to need a key or something—and slowly push it open.
The roof is right there. Almost as if this window was built for the exact purpose of allowing someone access to it, which would make sense given how huge our house is. Heart pounding once more, I climb out the window onto a surprisingly flat section of roof.
Thankfully, even with the recent rain, the shingles are dry, and I easily find my footing. Until, that is, I turn to close the window behind me. My foot slips and I have to swallow a cry as I grip the window frame to keep from falling.
Maybe this is a mistake. Maybe I should go back inside, wake up my Daddy, and tell him all of my deepest fears.
But if I do that, I’ll still only have his word that he loves me and won’t ever leave me. That he will, truly, be heartbroken if I were to disappear. And I need more than words.
I need toknow.
So I gather my courage and reach for the window, pulling it shut behind me. There. I did it.
Now to find somewhere to hide.
Colt
Sunlight warms my face, pulling me out of sleep and back to the land of the living. It’s Saturday, thank god, which means sleeping in.
And maybe a little time to enjoy my babygirl before we have to go downstairs for breakfast.
With visions of my little Tabby, her back arched and tears of pain and pleasure streaming down her cheeks filling my mind, I reach for her.
And reach, and reach, and reach.
Frowning, I crack open an eyelid to see where she is, only to find an empty bed.
