“She doesn’t know what it means to be my mate. She isn’t ready to know that being with me would change her entire life. Do you think I’m having fun coughing up blood? Or having my skin feel like it’s pulled so tight, it might rip? My fangs ache, Westin. Every part of me aches for her in ways you won’t understand unless you meet your mate.”
“Then, tell her!” he yells at me. “Fucking tell her what she needs to know. I feel bad for her being mated to you. She’s out there wanting to learn about you, jumping in feet fucking first in this life with you. There was no fear when you told her about yourself. What more could you want?”
“I don’t want her to be twenty-five years old at her brother’s funeral.” I cast my eyes to the window, the rain dripping down the windowpane.
I’m so tired of the rain.
The windchimes ring together, the different pitches adding to the throb in my head.
“You’re dying of thirst. You’re dying not being mated. Please talk to her. Be honest. It’s either she buries her brother, or he buries her, which he will soon if you don’t get off your ass.”
I toss my head back on the pillow and stare up at the ceiling. I know he’s right.
“Last night, I felt fine. I was nervous I was going to hurt her, which is why I left how I did. I was on the edge. I did what I thought was best.”
The bed dips when Westin sits down on the edge. “You felt fine because you were next to her. I think Lorcan is right. How you feel, the way the emotions hit you like a million pounds, she balances that, right?”
When I think about how I feel when I’m around her, I agree with him. “I’m at peace with her. She quiets everyone’s emotions. I’m able to only focus on her.”
“And now, you’re being destroyed from the inside out because you aren’t with her. It’s happening quicker than what Lorcan said. I don’t think you’ll last much longer.”
The room spins so much that I become dizzy. I press my hands against my head, taking deep breaths to right myself. My emotions are out of control. I can’t compartmentalize anymore. Westin’s worry is like a concrete brick sitting on my chest. The weight makes it hard to breathe.
“How is she? It’s raining. Is she here or chasing?”
“She’s here. She said, and I quote, ‘This isn’t chasing weather. It’s just rain.’ And I told her you weren’t well. She’s making you food.”
“What?” I bellow, sitting up straight. “She can’t see me like this, Westin! What the fuck is wrong with you?” Blood drips from my nose, down my lips and chin.
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
Blood soaks into the comforter.
“That.” Westin points. “That’s what is wrong with me. My best friend is dying because he is afraid of so many things, butthe biggest, and this is just my opinion, is that you’re so tired of feeling the weight of everyone’s emotions. It’s a curse. It weighs you down. You’ve been wanting death ever since your brother died.
“I think youcancontrol the emotions and how you feel them from everyone. You choose not to. You think you deserve the pain of feeling everyone else’s agony. You allow it to do this to you. Now, you have a chance of having some of that burden lifted, and you’re scared because it means you can’t torture yourself anymore.”
I watch the rain slide down the glass, going through the chores in my head that I can’t get done today. I can’t leave the bed. There’s no way I can get up without falling to the floor.
“You can try to ignore me, but you know I’m right.”
“Please, leave, Westin.”
“No problem. Nariko will be here soon, anyway. You can’t run away when you can’t move.”
I snarl at him, flashing my fangs.
“Oooh, so scared. I’m shaking in my boots.” He flips his middle finger at me as he walks down the hall, leaving me alone with the echoes of his retreating steps.
The front door slams shut, and when I’m alone, I hold back tears.
Because he is fucking right.
Pushing myself up, I sway with dizziness. The blood wooshes in my ears. My heart is beating faster than normal. Every pound shakes my vision, causing what I see to become blurry. Grabbingmy legs, I push them over the bed, my muscles and skin protesting from rubbing against the sheets.
