The momentary connection we made on our climb up the mountain to rescue Raven started to fray as soon as we got her to the hospital, when Killian insisted I needed to stay when I knew that was the absolute worst thing I could do for her.
It’s only gotten more tense since then, and come tomorrow morning, I won’t be a problem anymore.
I scrub my hands over my face, over the heavy beard that’s been growing there now for over a month, since I went up the mountain with Raven. Something about seeing it when I look in the mirror every day stilled the razor in my hand each time I tried to shave it.
Maybe it’s the memory of the way Raven scraped her nails through it.
That thought haunts me as much as the visions of her injuries.
“Why do you think it’s still for the best?” Liam’s voice is so much softer than Killian’s. He doesn’t yell. It’s so much worse. “I still haven’t heard any sort of rational explanation from you.”
There’s that word again—rational.
I’ve tried to explain it to them, and to Willow and Lucky, so many times over the last two weeks as I gathered more supplies and prepared to head back up to the hunting cabin. Yet, they keep doing this. They keep pushing.
And I’m feeling dangerously close to that edge again.
“Because I’m too unstable, Liam. I’m too dangerous.”
Liam snorts. “You’ve always been dangerous.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
Killian’s gaze softens, some of the ice melting away. “You’re still having nightmares?”
I nod.
Liam gives me a look. “Have they ever stopped?”
My back stiffens.
Only once.
With her.
The woman who ended up beaten, cut, tortured, and abused…almost dead because of me. Because I didn’t protect her. Because I chose the wrong path.
I shake my head.
Liam just narrows his gaze. “Why don’t I believe you?”
“I don’t give a fuck if you believe me or not.”
I storm into the kitchen and start grabbing things from the cabinets and shoving them into one of my backpacks, not even paying attention to what I’m packing.
It can all be sorted out later, when I’m up there and alone.
When my brothers aren’t breathing down my neck.
A light knock on the door stills my hand. Gizmo jerks awake and barks, leaping from Liam’s lap and racing toward the sound. Killian pushes off the wall and opens the door, stepping to the side to allow someone in. When he moves out of the way, all the air rushes from my lungs.
Raven stands in the doorway, a plaid blanket wrapped around her, her blond hair twisted up in a messy bun at the back of her head, and God, does she look beautiful, even with the cuts and bruises still healing on her face.
She always just has this energy, this light, a glow.
There’s a reason I always thought of fireflies when I saw her.
Killian looks to Liam and inclines his head. “We need to go.”
