‘That sounds interesting.’
‘I was at uni in London for a year, but then Mum’s condition deteriorated, and Dad couldn’t cope on his own with her any longer, so I moved back home and switched to the Open University. I work part-time for a care agency – a couple of shifts a week – looking after the disabled and a few people with dementia. It’s amazing how much you learn when you have to care for a family member on a full-time basis.’ She drops her head to the side and smiles.
I close my eyes. It’s the only thing I can do to stop myself from screaming at him. At her. At everyone.
The air hostess’s trolley bumps and rattles along the aisle. ‘Let us buy you a drink,’ Justin says to Immy. ‘What would you like?’
Us? I don’t want to buy this girl who poses such a threat a drink. I just want the pilot to land the plane and for us to be safely at home. Alone. I wish I’d never agreed to come. I’m not well enough. Not really. I try to put on a brave face, but inside, I’m crumbling. When Justin booked me a ticket as a surprise to join him for my birthday, I was moved he’d gone to so much trouble, especially knowing he’d be busy with the conference.But it’d been a while since we’d been away together. I thought perhaps we could rekindle our physical contact, which has been lacking for a while now. A long while, because I’ve still not got over losing my breasts. But when it came to it, I couldn’t bring myself to remove my top in front of him.
Happy bloody birthday.
‘A glass of white wine would be nice,’ Immy says.
I hold my breath. If I keep my eyes closed long enough, perhaps he won’t do it. Perhaps she’ll disappear.
‘Two glasses of white wine,’ Justin says to the air hostess. He turns to me. ‘Would you like anything?’
I shake my head.
Bottles click open. Wine glugs into plastic glasses. A child screams two seats down. I want to do the same.
‘Cheers,’ Justin says. I watch him out of the corner of my eye. He raises his glass to clink against hers.
Her glass meets his. ‘Cheers.’
‘You know, it’s good to talk to someone about caring for someone with dementia,’ he says. ‘Someone who understands.’
Good grief! That’s it. They don’t stop talking the whole flight.
I pretend to sleep so he can’t draw me into the conversation. I can’t bear to watch this show play out. Perhaps I’m wrong. But I’m not.
Because I know my husband.
He just can’t help himself.
When the captain tells the cabin crew to take their seats for landing, Justin pops the proposition I knew was inevitable. Almost two hours of torture I’ve sat through, hoping the moment wouldn’t arrive.
‘Why don’t you come and stay with us? Save you from having to sleep overnight at the airport. We’re only twenty minutes’ drive away.’
‘That’s kind of you.’ Immy smiles. ‘But I couldn’t possibly trouble you like that.’
‘It’s no trouble. You could meet my mother and perhaps give us some hints on how to look after her. We have an annexe you could stay in. It has its own bathroom.’ He squeezes my knee. ‘That’s OK, isn’t it?’
A wave of rage rides through me, turning my emotions into a nasty-tasting cocktail that’s making me feel sick to the core.
‘Beth or I can drop you back to the airport for your flight to Stockholm in the morning, can’t we?’
Fear creeps through me.
I want to cry.
It’s happening all over again.
And this time, I’ll be ready.
5
SCARLETT
