“Because I get why you broke up with me,” I said. “Your brother takes priority.” I drew a breath. “I’m not saying it’s exactly the same or anything, but when Sam was sick, I would have burned down the world to protect her. And I mean that. Hell, Iwantedto burn down the world, I was so angry at the unfairness of it, even though I knew it wouldn’t make a lick of difference. And I get that’s how you feel about Cash. I know you think you should have been there that night, instead of with me?—”
“I don’tthinkI know,” he said fiercely. “Iknow.”
“Sorry,” I said and showed him my palms. “I said that wrong, but I’m trying to say that I understand.”
His gaze narrowed. “You don’t know shit about me and Cash.”
“I know it’s not the same,” I said. “I already said that. But if you think I don’t get the protective brother thing, then you’re wrong. You’re so fucking wrong. I don’t think I slept through the night for the entire year. I was scared to leave her alone in case it was the last time I saw her, even when the chemo wasworking. Ask Sam. I drove her crazy with questions every time she had a checkup. I kept replacing her soda with sparkling water because I read that sugar feeds cancer. When her friends came over, I kicked them out after ten minutes in case she was tired. Until one day she lost her shit and yelled at me and told me I was a fucking nightmare.”
Chase didn’t say anything. Just picked at the sticker on the cookie box with his thumbnail and glared at me. But he hadn’t bolted yet.
“I thought I was helping,” I said, “but I wasn’t. Because that protectiveness, she needed that some days, she needed to feel looked after, but on other days she just needed to feel like a normal teenager. And I wasn’t listening, because I was so scared.”
He lifted his gaze. “It sucks that she was sick,” he said, “and I’m glad she’s better now, but don’t give your pop psychology bullshit about what Cash needs.”
“You’re not listening,” I said. “I’m telling you what happened with me, not making an exact comparison. I just mean that you don’t have to explain why you broke up with me. Igetit. Cash comes first.”
Chase’s hard gaze softened the tiniest bit. “Yeah. He does.”
I let out a breath. “I’d make the same choice, in your shoes. Idid, with Sam. I didn’t date anyone the whole time she was sick because she was my first and only priority.”
He stared at me, then said, “She yelled at you, huh?”
“Tore shreds off me,” I said. “And I probably had it coming.”
“But it’s not the same with Cash,” he said.
“Well, I can’t imagine him yelling, no,” I said. “But he gets his point across anyway, right?”
Chase blinked at me. “How would you know?”
I blinked back. “He, uh, he came to see me last night. We talked.”
Chase looked as though he’d been poleaxed. “Cashtalked?”
“Yeah?”
Chase’s face did something complicated. “Cash only talks if it’s important.”
“He told me you were happy when we were together. Obviously, he thinks that’s pretty important. And I agree.”
The naked disbelief on his face in that second almost broke my heart before he schooled his expression.
“Listen,” I said. “I get you don’t want to date me. But I like you, Chase. So I’m here as a friend, okay? If you have room for one of those.”
Chase was silent as he fiddled with the sticker on the box of cookies, and just when I was sure I’d pushed things too far, he said, “I guess that wouldn’t suck.”
“Okay,” I said and forced a smile.
“Okay,” he echoed and hugged the box of cookies to his chest. “I’m gonna…” He nodded toward the door.
“See you tomorrow,” I said.
“Yeah,” he said without looking back. “See you tomorrow, Lee.”
CHAPTER 17
CHASE
