But for the first time in possibly his whole life, Felix never took it over the top. He ran his hands up Jacob’s shirt, rubbing Jacob’s chest through the thin fabric. It felt good. Comfortable, but also hot and eager.
Felix was easing him into it, Jacob realized. For all he pretended to be a careless goof, he really did want Jacob to have a nice time.
Felix leaned up, skimming their noses together like he’d done in the Macy’s. “I know you want to take charge. I want that, too. But maybe let me lead for this first part? Until you get horny enough to throw me down on the bed.”
“I’m not going to throw you on the bed,” Jacob said, ignoring how his mouth went dry as he said it.
Felix grinned, his teeth flashing white in the dark dorm. He’d only turned the lamp on, the small light illuminating the side of the smile that had entranced so many boys on campus. And, when Jacob wasn’t careful, himself.
“Disappointing,” Felix murmured. Something flashed through his eyes, strange and desperate. But before Jacob could ask if something was wrong, Felix kissed him again.
Jacob had to give it to him: he was a hell of a kisser. He’d watched a ton of guys get kissed by Felix—momentarily, anyway. He’d always look away as fast as he could. A prude through and through, as Felix always joked. Which was better than the truth, that Jacob had a case of the ol’ internalized homophobia. Weirdly enough, he didn’t get a sinking feeling in his stomach when he watchedotherguys kiss. Just Felix. He’d never figured out why.
Point being: he’d involuntarily watched a lot of guys get Felix-kissed, and he always thought they were playing up the blissed-out expressions. But no, the bastard was justthatfucking good, the perfect amount of slick, soft pressure making Jacob’s head spin.
Jacob was panting when Felix finally drew back. “Asshole.”
Felix blinked, looking surprisingly dazed. “What?”
“You’re not allowed to be that good at kissing,” Jacob said. “You only started kissing guys a few years ago.”
Felix laughed, startled. “What can I say? I got a lot of practice.”
With that, he pulled Jacob back in again. Jacob realized that he could actually move his arms instead of letting them hang at his sides like a doofus, and he held Felix’s hips.
Felix made a pleased hum against his mouth. Suddenly Jacob’s head was full of memories from that stupid Macy’s bed: the heady weight of Felix underneath him, his wrists slack underneath his grip.
Jacob had always felt weird about what he wanted to do to guys. But the way Felix reacted…god. It made him wonder how far Felix would let him go. Then again, Jacob’s fuzzy fantasies were pretty tame compared to what Felix had already done. He never asked for details, but Felix talked about it enough. It was actually the main reason why Jacob was able to accept this part of himself in college. Hell, Felix was probably the only reason he’d been able to come out to himself in his teenage years as opposed to his twenties.
Felix pulled back again, toying with Jacob’s shirt. “Hey, uh. About throwing me down on the bed. Wanna wrestle?”
Jacob squinted at him, trying to figure out if he was joking. The lamp light was dim, but it didn’t matter. He could tell Felix’s expression in the dark.
“Seriously?” Jacob asked needlessly. He could tell Felix was serious from the grin, which was so close to shy it shocked him.
“Serious as your dad’s chicken pot pie,” Felix said. A reference to a disastrous grade-school dinner that neither of them remembered except for this quote and the burn that was still on Jacob’s kitchen table in his family home.
Jacob thought about teasing him. Something to make him feel less like he was spinning into space. But it was suddenly difficult to think with Felix standing so close, his fingers still brushing Jacob’s shirt.
Jacob swallowed. “Are we wrestling or am I holding you down?”
“All roads lead to,” Felix whispered.
Then he tackled Jacob onto his bed.
Jacob yelped, guarding his head as he narrowly missed a collision with the wall the bed was up against. “Hey! Careful, jackass!”
“That sounds like loser talk,” Felix said breathlessly.
He was perched on top of him, his knee shoved into Jacob’s stomach. It made something old and hungry flare inside Jacob, a childish glee that quickly turned molten as he noticed how hard Felix was breathing.
Jacob didn’t think. He grabbed Felix and wrestled him down. Felix flailed and pushed, but the end result was the same as it had been since Jacob hit his growth spurt in middle school: Jacob on top of Felix, holding him down.
Felix blew a strand of golden hair out of his face and beamed. “Here we are again.”
“Could’ve skipped the Macy’s.”
Felix scoffed. “You wanted me to drag you into my shit! Excuse me for being thoughtful.”
