“What? Fuck off.You’rejumpy tonight.” Jacob took another mouthful of beer, then shuddered. “Ugh. That’s disgusting.”
Felix waited. Despite what everyone thought, he did know when to shut up sometimes. Especially when it involved staring pointedly at Jacob until he broke. After several seconds of silence he even started batting his eyelashes.
“Quit it,” Jacob scowled. He downed the rest of his beer and slammed it back on the counter with a force that made Felix actually worried for the first time tonight.
Felix nudged him. “Seriously. What’s up?”
“Nothing,” Jacob said, too fast. He gave Felix’s hands a distracted look. “Your hands look like shit. Have you been using your cream?”
Felix shook his head.
Jacob sighed, reaching into his pocket, and brought out a small tube of hand cream he carried around all winter. Felix’s hands chapped in the cold.
Felix held out his hands. “Put it on for me? I never do it right.”
“You’re such a baby,” Jacob muttered. But he rubbed the skin cream in, quickly and efficiently, before shoving Felix’shands back at him. “Use your damn cream. It’s right on your nightstand, just work it into your morning routine!”
“I’m on it,” Felix said, his skin tingling from the soothing aloe cream and, of course, Jacob’s touch. He waited for Jacob to settle back into his seat, then nudged him again. “Soooo why the weirdness?”
Jacob glared at him. He had obviously hoped the segue would have made Felix forget about it. Then he sighed and gave the crowded bar another nervous glance before finally turning to Felix.
“We said we’d change when we got to college,” Jacob said. “Youdid. You got even more confident. And slutty.”
Felix bowed as best he could on the shitty barstool. “Thank you.”
“But I didn’t change,” Jacob continued. “Not even a little. I’m still that repressed eighteen-year-old who yelled at you for not wearing your seatbelt on our first drive to Indy. I don’t have any friends except you. I still call my parents every week, andnotbecause I want to. I’m still…” He trailed off, swallowing hard. He looked so miserable that Felix almost felt bad about being excited. It washappening, finally.
“Is this the moment?” he asked gleefully. “Is the unchangeable Jacob Branson finally venturing outside of his comfort zone? Are you going to experiment with a midnight bedtime instead of nine? Are you buying a motorcycle?”
“Like I can afford a motorcycle,” Jacob scoffed. “And my parents were right, theyaredeathtraps, no matter how cool they are.”
“So what are you doing?”
Jacob paused. He gripped his empty beer glass, his impeccably trimmed nails tapping nervously at the rim.
“Uh,” he started. “So you know how I’m—” He stopped, eyes fixed on something over Felix’s shoulder. His expression closed off.
“Whoa, hey,” Felix said. “What is it?”
Jacob looked away. “One of your guys is coming over.”
Felix opened his mouth to tell him that it didn’t matter,noneof the guys he’d slept with since fleeing their shitty little hometown mattered, he only did it to bury his feelings for his surly best friend. Then he forced himself to shut up, because he was never actually going to say that. He didn’t need to. Jacob had made it clear how he felt about Felix. The only thing Felix would get from confessing his love was an appalled look. He had a hundred other ways to appall Jacob, and they were all less crushing.
Felix looked up to see Hec, a broody closet-case footballer who kept making out with guys after a few drinks. If he wasn’t such an asshole, Felix would pity him.
“Hey,” Hec said loudly. “Want to dance?”
Felix blinked. Hec didn’tseemwasted, but he had never asked a guy to dance without it. Maybe he was finally coming to terms with being a boy kisser. Again, Felix might have given a shit if Hec wasn’t a raging jackass whose only redeeming feature was a nice cock.
“One second,” Felix told him. He turned back to Jacob. “Hey! Come dance.”
Jacob made a face. “Withhim?”
“Forget about him,” Felix urged. “Come on. This could be your first act outside your comfort zone! Brand-new Jacob, here he comes!”
But Jacob did not look brand new. He looked just like the high-schooler Felix had fallen in love with, all hunched shoulders and anxious expression, a refusal already on his lips.
“I’m gonna go,” Jacob said.
