“I won’t need you to be overly social,” David continued as they walked past a stainless-steel fridge and a kitchen island stacked with a glut of cleaning supplies. There were so many Jacob wondered what could possibly need cleaning—every room was immaculate.
“I would only need small talk whenever we encounter each other in the kitchen,” David continued.
“Sure,” Jacob said, still eyeing the massive pile of cleaning products. “Sounds great.”
David traced Jacob’s gaze and nodded. “Ah. That isn’t for me. That’s for a… client, I suppose I could call them. Have you ever followed a chore chart?”
“What?” Jacob tore his gaze away from the stack of cleaning products to the fridge where David was pointing to a laminated chore chart, everything sorted into columns. “Oh, man. No, I haven’t, but I did a lot of chores back home. That was actually something I wanted to talk to you about—I wouldloveto follow a chore chart.”
“Good,” David said. He pushed his ever-present sleeves up to check his watch, and Jacob caught a shocking flash of black curling around his forearms. Did David havetattoos?
“I’m afraid I will have to say goodbye,” David told him. “I have someone else coming over soon.”
“To look at the house?” Jacob asked, confused.
“No, no. You’re the only one I’ve seriously considered, as I said.” David smiled, a little stilted, like he was trying to be warm and not quite getting there. Jacob could relate: he felt like he was always smiling like that. Polite and perfunctory, unless he was talking to Felix. With Felix, he could be himself. For better or worse.
“I’ll walk you out,” David said. They headed into the hall together, and David continued: “So what do you think?”
“It’s perfect,” Jacob replied. “The house, the situation, the rent—everything is perfect.”
It was mostly true. He wasn’t fully on board with the idea of living with someone he made small talk with and nothing more. Half of him was relieved he didn’t have to make a friend, something he hadn’t done since grade school. But the other half of him couldn’t help but be sad. He’d always pictured his first place full of laughter and warmth. Of course he did. Until very recently, he’d assumed he would live with Felix.
David waved Jacob goodbye at the front porch, promising he would email him the lease to look at. As well as notes for their most recent stats class, since Jacob had uncharacteristically slept in that day after lying awake in bed with a formless worry churning in his gut.
You’re making the right choice, Jacob reminded himself as he walked down the pristine path toward the front gate.You can’t live with Felix. He doesn’t believe in fabric softener. He sings in the shower. He would probably put a cast iron pan in a dishwasher.
All of this was true. But if Jacob looked deeper—which he had been unwillingly doing much more often since he went to college—he knew that the real reason had nothing to do with Felix’s lack of house-training. It was because he had always been worried about getting too close to Felix. He didn’t believe his parents when they said Felix was bad for him. But he did believe—even if only in the furthest, murkiest depths of his mind—that if he moved in with Felix, he would get too close. And then something bad would happen.
He pushed the gate open, so deep in thought that he almost missed the flash of movement from down the street. Jacob looked up and stopped in surprise.
It was Felix. He was turned away from Jacob, heading toward the street corner. He was panting, walking oddly, like he had just been sprinting.
“Felix,” Jacob called.
Felix spun around. His eyes went wide, his smile just a little too big as he registered Jacob.
“Bosom buddy,” Felix cried, jogging up to him. “Old pal! What are you doing in this little patch of heaven?”
“Little patch of…?” Jacob stopped, shaking his head. He’d never heard Felix say that before in his life, which meant Felix was panicking and throwing out random words to distract him.
“Did youfollowme?” Jacob asked, incredulous.
Felix paused. “Yeah, actually. Your parents called. They wanted me to tail you in case you got kidnapped.”
Jacob’s stomach fell. “Oh, shit. Please tell me you’re joking.”
Felix’s semi-serious expression fell into a delighted grin. “Hook, line and sinker, man. You seriously still fall for this shit?”
“Thank god,” Jacob sighed, sagging with relief. “Wait, then why are you here?”
“I’m going for a walk,” Felix said. “I exercise now.”
“No you don’t.”
“Maybe I want to be different, too, okay?” Felix scuffed his sneaker against the sidewalk, then admitted, “I need stamina to fuck.”
Jacob believed that. Though he still wasn’t convinced that Felix didn’t follow him here to see what David’s house was like.
