It was a Tuesday night. Not a lot of options. People were there to have a casual drink with friends or sip a beer while they studied, not to get wasted and find someone to go home with. Felix was about to give up hope when his eyes locked on someone at the other end of the bar.
It was Hec. Closet-case, football-playing Hec, the last guy he’d fooled around with before Jacob introduced The List. He looked nervous, but only until he spotted Felix looking. Then he squared up, his expression turning bored.
Felix grinned and slid off his seat. He didn’t leave a tip—those whiskeys had drained him completely dry until his parents sent him money the following week. He marched over to Hec and slid onto the seat next to him.
“Hi,” Felix purred. “Come here often?”
Hec frowned at him. “What?”
Felix sighed. Another thing about Hec: he had no imagination.
“Never mind,” Felix said. “Want to go back to my dorm?”
“Sure,” Hec said. He didn’t even glance around to see if anyone was looking, which was progress. Too bad Felix didn’t give a shit about him. Too bad Felix didn’t give a shit about nearly anyone except Jacob, who was making a life for himself that didn’t have any room for him.
Felix started following Hec out of The Last Call. Then he paused. Jacob still wasn’t looking at him. Why wasn’t Jacob looking at him? Felix was looking at Jacobconstantly. He usedto walk into telephone poles because of it, then he’d have to pretend he did it as a goof while Jacob swore at him and checked him for bruises.
The people around Jacob laughed. Jacob laughed with them, smiling so beautifully it made Felix want to hit something.
“Wait,” he blurted. He tugged Hec to a stop, then stepped in close.
Hec flinched. “What are you doing?”
“You can come back to my dorm,” Felix said, “if you kiss me right now.”
Hec’s jaw worked. He usually had to be significantly drunker than this to kiss a guy in public. Felix clocked him at barely tipsy.
But to his surprise, Hec leaned down and kissed him.
Felix deepened it immediately. He wound his hands through Hec’s hair, pouring every ounce of fake passion and very real frustration into the kiss.
Hec broke the kiss after only a few seconds, breathing hard. “Uh. Okay.”
Felix ignored him. He twisted to look at Jacob, expecting to see him lost in conversation.
His heart thudded. Jacob was looking at him, finally. But he didn’t look annoyed like Felix had expected. He looked shocked. Even a little betrayed.
He didn’t expect me to go home with anyone while we were doing the list,Felix realized. He would probably get an earful the next day about sexual health practices, but Felix couldn’t bring himself to care. He was so sick of being in love with someone who would never feel the same way.
Hec didn’t love him—hell, Felix suspected he didn’t evenlikehim—but he wanted him. That was as good as Felix was going to get.
“Come on,” Felix muttered to Hec as he turned back toward the door. “Let’s get out of here.”
CHAPTER 12
Jacob watched the door swing shut and wondered why his heart was pounding so hard.
He never liked watching Felix make out with guys. But that was because he was a prude. Or a little internally homophobic. So why did he suddenly feel like he was going to die?
“Dude,” said the guy next to him, whose name he didn’t remember despite repeating it in his head while the guy talked about his math degree. “Are you good?”
“What? I’m fine.” Jacob’s voice caught. He cleared his throat, confused. What waswrongwith him? He should be annoyed that Felix was sleeping with somebody, while they were still going through his list, when Felix didn’t even know if the guy was clean.
But he wasn’t annoyed. He was…
Jacob blinked hard. He didn’t know what he was feeling. He put a concentrated effort into not knowing, and it had worked fine so far. But now he was cold and sweaty and his eyes were burning and he didn’t knowwhy. Whatever it was, it was a deeply stupid reaction to watching his best friend kiss a guy in front of him.
“Uhhh,” the guy next to him said. “You sure, man?”
