Felix looked at the apartment pictures again. It was a shitty apartment, but there was no visible mold or cockroaches, which was a win in his book. He would check the place out, but he wasconvinced that when he walked into his first ever apartment and reality set in—hereallywasn’t living with Jacob—he would burst into tears. Nowaywas he about to let Nate and Shane see that.
Familiar footsteps thudded neatly toward him. Felix didn’t have to look to know who it was.
Jacob slid into a chair opposite him, dropping several textbooks onto the table. “Hey,” he said distractedly, scratching at a hickey Felix had left on him several days ago when they marked frottageoff the list. “Still not finished yet?”
Felix picked up the copy ofPersuasionfrom where it had been lying face down on the table. “I could be reading it again. Taking notes.”
Jacob gave him a skeptical look. Felix wanted to kiss the dent between his disbelieving brows. Bastard. “I’m almost done,” he said defensively, opening it to the page he’d bookmarked. With a fold, no matter how many times Jacob gave him actual bookmarks. He fiddled with the folded corner, waiting. Sure enough, Jacob grimaced.
“I’ve given you at least five bookmarks for that thing,” Jacob said as he pulled a heavy textbook open. “The receipt from that bodega, my old class notes… what do you do with all of them?”
I put them in the trash so I can have this argument with you again,Felix thought wistfully.I love arguing with you. I love doing anything with you. Shit, I’d probably enjoy putting IKEA furniture together with you. It’d make you so mad you’d pin me to the floor at least a few times.
“I don’t know what to tell you, man,” Felix said. “They just go walkies. You know how I am about losing things. Now pipe down, I’m trying to read.”
“Oh, you don’t want me distracting you?” Jacob snorted. “I totally believe that.”
“Iam,” Felix said. He cleared his throat pompously and started reading from the first line he came across. “Ahem!If Iloved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. But you know what I am?—”
“Alright,” Jacob said, surprisingly loudly.
Felix looked up, expecting to see Jacob glancing around to check if Hot Librarian was rounding the stacks to cuss them out.
But Jacob had his eyes closed, pinching the bridge of his nose like he had a soul-splitting migraine. Which was weird, because for all Jacob’s complaining about Felix giving him headaches, he’d never had a migraine in his life.
“Dude,” Felix said, concerned. “Are you good?”
“Fine,” Jacob said. “I just…”
He trailed off in a mumble. It sounded a lot likeI took psychic damage, which was impossible, partly because it made no sense and partly because Jacob didn’t use that kind of slang.
Jacob sighed loudly and opened his eyes to stare at his textbook. But before Felix could go back toPersuasion, Jacob slammed the textbook shut. “Why was Jack Smith being weird about you the other week?”
Felix let that marinate for a second. When it still didn’t make sense, he said, “Huh?”
“When I went to try the motorcycle,” Jacob said. “Alone.”
“I had something on!”
“Yeah, whatever.” Jacob rubbed the back of his neck, oddly bashful. “I don’t know. He was weird about you.”
I bet, Felix thought. Jack Smith was a worse liar than Felix thought. You’d think a guy with so much life experience could cobble together some feasible bullshit rather than avoiding the question altogether.
But Felix couldn’t say much. He still didn’t have an answer to what he was doing that day, other than ‘stuff.’ In truth, he’d been cleaning the toilet at David’s house when Jacob was having that motorcycle session, which Felixwassad about missing. He could have rescheduled his cooking session, but honestly, Felixwas still bitter about the whole Jacob situation. Even though he was hiding it a lot better these days. No more yelling or ignoring, just… not being so attached at the hip. Not dropping everything to trail after his best friend.
Which was fine. Healthy, even! If only it didn’t feel like ripping out his own heart and stomping on it, every time. The kicker was how bummedJacobseemed about it. Felix expected Jacob to be happy about not spending every minute of every day together. But if anything, Jacob was getting clingier. Clingy would be nice, if Felix wasn’t trying to put the last nail in the coffin of the whole ‘being in love with him’ thing.
Felix leaned further over his book, pretending to read. “Guess he’s a weird guy.”
“Stop—” Jacob looked around for Hot Librarian and lowered his voice. “Stop lying to me! What’s with you, dude? Justtellme things. Since when do you not tell me things?”
“I tell you things,” Felix said weakly.
“What’s going on with Jack? How did you burn your hand?”
“Okay, okay! Shut up before Hot Librarian chases us out with a pitchfork.” Felix twisted away from the study table, checking the stacks. No hot librarian came charging out to shush them, his giant eyebrows knitted together with righteous anger. For once, Felix actually wished he would. It would be a great way to change the subject. Instead he was stuck here, fiddling with the folded corner of his page until he came to a decision.
“I’ll tell you how I burned my hand,” Felix said. “And the Jack… thing. But not until the end of the semester.”
