“Fuck you, don’t call it that,” Jacob barked.
“—and then bounce,” Felix finished. He elbowed Jacob in the stomach and ran to the other side of the hallway when he doubled over. “Whatisthis, man?”
“Nothing,” Jacob wheezed, clutching his stomach. He waddled over, grabbing weakly for the paper.
Felix stepped easily out of the way. “Really? Because it looks like a list of shit you wanna try. Ahem.Fisting?—”
“Don’t read it out,” Jacob hissed, staring at the students passing by. Luckily they were late to class, so they didn’t take much notice of the boys tussling like schoolchildren in the hall.
“And it’s not even all sexual,” Felix continued. “You were serious about reinventing yourself! You want to go toparties! Youdowant to get a motorcycle!”
“I want toridea motorcycle,” Jacob corrected. “Obviously I’m not going togetone.”
He grabbed for the list. This time Felix let him, a thoughtful look on his face. “You know this is kind of how Shane and Nate got together?”
Jacob frowned, stuffing his list back in his pocket. “What?”
“Shane wrote this thing,” Felix started. Then he shook his head, his blond hair bouncing distractingly. “Anyway. I’m in.”
“Fuck off.”
“No, seriously.” Felix hesitated, and Jacob realized with no small sense of shock that his best friend was nervous. It was the only time Felix ever avoided his eyes. Felix looked at everythinghead-on until he couldn’t. Which was weird, considering the stuff he was saying.
“Come on, man,” Felix muttered, grinning in a way that Jacob would call shy if it was anyone else. “I would’ve messed around with you whenever you wanted. I thought you weren’t interested.”
“Everyone’sinterestedin you,” Jacob said, hoping his flat tone disguised how much he wanted to vibrate out of his skin.
Felix’s grin widened. He poked his tongue in his cheek, something he’d started doing in college when every guy started falling over themselves to go home with him. “Not you,” he said. “You never talk about that shit. Won’t even say what guys you think are hot.Excuseme if I’m surprised I made the cut.”
Jacob shrugged stiffly. He supposed he was reserved about that sort of thing, but everyone was reserved compared to Felix, who talked about sex over breakfast like it was totally normal. Then again, maybe it was normal in the city. Jacob couldn’t help it—any talk of sex, or romance, or even being attracted to someone, made him feel like he was being pried open and peered into. He didn’t want anyone to see what was there.Hebarely knew what was there a lot of the time.
“I thought you had higher standards,” Jacob said, desperately trying to make a joke.
“My standards are fine,” Felix replied. He took a step closer, somehow not caring about any of the people walking past, even when he was looking at Jacob with… withbedroom eyes,the same ones Jacob had seen him direct at all the other guys who took him back to their dorms.
“And you definitely meet them,” Felix continued.
It took Jacob a moment to remember what he was talking about. Standards. Alright. Felix always made jokes about Jacob being hot, but he never knew how much Felix meant them. It was good to know they were at least partly true.
It was Jacob’s turn to look away. He couldn’t deal with Felix’s undivided attention—especially not with Felix looking up at him all sultry like that, his brown eyes twinkling, wry lips parted like he was imagining everything Jacob had written on that list.
“AndI’m pretty excited to try the stuff on that list,” Felix said, making Jacob’s heartbeat ramp up to dangerous levels. “Tall, broody guy who wants to dominate me? Be still, my heart.”
“Shut up,” Jacob snapped, looking around nervously at the hallway. Thankfully, it was mostly empty.
“Seriously,” Felix said again. “You think I kept wrestling you in high school because I thought I could win? I wanted you to pin me down, dude.”
He said it so simply. Like it was easy to say what he wanted—hell, to evenknowwhat he wanted. Jacob was only realizing now that hedidactually enjoy those wrestling matches, that there was something beyond annoyance when he held Felix’s wrists against the bed.
“Oh,” Jacob said, his voice horrifyingly high. His hand tightened around the list in his pocket. Did Felix already know what he wanted in bed more than he did? Was Jacobthatfucking repressed?
Felix snorted. “Don’t have an aneurysm, dude. It’s a good thing. We’re compatible.”
“Compatible,” Jacob muttered. He thought about holding Felix down, giving him orders, and his mind immediately shrank back. He wanted it, but how could he…dominateFelix when he was so inexperienced?
“Okay, now you look like you’re going to puke,” Felix said, kicking him gently in the shin. “What’s going on in that big head of yours?”
“Nothing,” Jacob said. He shuffled closer, not because he wanted to be close but because he was still terrified of anyoneoverhearing. “Just… I don’t know. Don’t be a dick when I’m bad at this.”
