Felix looked nervous. Then, so fast Jacob would have missed it if he didn’t know him so well, Felix pulled up a cocky smirk.
“What,” Felix said. “Like it’s hard?”
“And you’re cleaning,” Jacob said, gesturing at the shiny countertops. “But, like…well.”
“I learned.” Felix shrugged, like it was no big deal that he’d spent all his money for a full semester on how to be a good roommate. All for Jacob, because of course it was. Felix would never do this for anyone else.
Jacob blinked hard, fighting tears. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
He stepped closer. Felix moved back, his butt bumping into the counter.
“Uh,” Felix said, and laughed. “I wanted to surprise you? But the longer it went on… I don’t know. It dawned on me how much you don’t want this! You were right, we’d drive each other crazy. I shouldn’t have been surprised, I know I’m?—”
Jacob surged forward and kissed him. He kissed Felix like he used to only be able to kiss him in the middle of sex, all his inhibitions forcefully stripped away, pouring everything he had into it. Only Felix could get him to that point. Without Felix, so much of Jacob was hidden, even to himself.
Felix made a muffled noise against his mouth. But he kissed back, his icing-covered hands closing cautiously around Jacob’s sleeves. Then he swore, pulling back.
“Shit,” Felix said, dropping Jacob’s arms and grimacing at the smudges of icing he’d left on Jacob’s shirt. “Sorry.”
Jacob shook his head. “I don’t give a shit about my shirt, Mess. I want you to drive me crazy. I wantyou.”
Felix’s mouth dropped open. Jacob had made him speechless, yet again. He was the only guy who could.
“I’ve always wanted you,” Jacob admitted in a rush. “I just never let myself realize it. But I want you forreal. No one else. I want… I want to wake up next to you every morning. I want your clothes to smell like my laundry detergent. I want our toothbrushes next to each other in the holder and I want to rinse it out every week because that’s what you’re meant to do, I don’t care what my parents say. I want to correct your dishwasher technique, you shouldn’t put forks prong-side up, what if somebody falls on them and gets hurt?”
“That’s never happened in the history of ever,” said Felix. He had a dazed, disbelieving smile, like he couldn’t quite convince himself this was happening. “What about David? You just signed the lease.”
“I didn’t sign it,” Jacob admitted. “I needed to talk to you. To see if you still wanted this.”
Felix laughed wetly. “Are you serious, man? Because if you go back on this… not to get serious on you, but I think that might kill me.”
“I’m serious,” Jacob said, brushing that sticky lock of hair away from Felix’s forehead. “And I’m sorry if that’s too much. I know I’m a lot, I try not to be, but?—”
It was Felix’s turn to cut him off with a kiss. It ended too fast, Felix grinning too hard to keep going.
“I love you,” Felix said breathlessly. “I’m stupid in love with you, dude.”
Jacob’s cheeks hurt. He was grinning too, he realized. He couldn’t remember the last time he smiled this hard, but he knew it would have been because of Felix.
“Yeah?” Jacob said. “Since when?”
“Like, fifth grade?” Felix laughed at the face Jacob made. “I was only fucking those guys because I couldn’t have you.”
“Oh,” Jacob said, reeling with delirious happiness. “We’re dumbasses.”
“The dumbest,” Felix agreed.
Jacob started to pull him back in. His phone rang—full ringtone, because his parents insisted he not keep it on silent in case of emergency—and Jacob growled through his teeth and dug it out.
“One second,” he said.
Felix nodded, some of his enthusiasm fading. Then Jacob exited out of the call and Felix’s giddiness came rushing back.
“Holy shit,” Felix crowed. “Is it happening? Are we finally getting rebellious Jacob?
“You fucking bet.” Jacob said, and took his hands. “Come with me.”
The rooftop access left a lot to be desired. But Jacob made sure the brick was wedged firmly in place before he walked out to the edge with Felix, still holding his hand.
