He got roped into joining this gang about five years ago after Luke surreptitiously asked to tour an apartment that Dmitry’s agency had listed in the Upper West Side, despite it being a few too many zeros outside his tax bracket. Apparently, touring ridiculously expensive homes is a regular pastime for Luke, his shameless defense being that it brings him joy to see how the other half lives. In this case, Dmitry had been given the grunt work of showing it for a colleague who was vacationing in the Maldives, though he would get none of the commission for his efforts if it sold. Not that it mattered since he’d clocked Luke immediately as someone who would not be making an offer anytime soon. But, he adds with a humorous glint in his eye, he’d fallen madly in love with Luke the moment he saw him, too, admitting he’d flirted with him quite openly.
“Wait, so you two…?” I ask, looking between them curiously. Dmitry shoots Luke an undecipherable look, and Luke goes pink around the ears.
“We may have debauched the poor, unsuspecting millionaire’s home once or twice during the tour,” Luke says with a sheepish grin that grows more wicked by the second until both he and Dmitry start laughing at the shared memory.
“Puh-lease,” Dmitry wheezes, breaking the word into two syllables. “That man probably had wilder sex parties in that apartment than what we did. Did youseethe fresco in the downstairs bathroom?”
“Oh mygod,yes! Just a straight-up orgy right there on the wall for everyone to see!”
“Still one of the highlights of my career.” Dmitry laughs, giving Luke a little wink.
I get a very clear picture of the two of them together, naked and blissed out in the middle of a fancy high-rise apartment, and it lights a tiny spark of jealousy in my gut. This part of Luke’s history wasn’t disclosed when he told me all about his roommates, but now that I find I’m sitting at the table with one of his exes (is that what he’d call him?), it’s a little awkward.
Still, my morbid curiosity gets the better of me, and I can’t help but ask, “So, how long were you two together?”
“Like dating?” Dmitry asks with an unexpected look of horror that brings me up short. “Oh, no, honey, we never dated. We hooked up a few times here and there, but we knew right off the bat that we’d be a disastrous couple. His dramatic ass is way too high maintenance for my taste.”
“Says the man with a thirty-minute skincare routine.” Luke interjects, arching a brow at Dmitry accusatorily.
“Okay, well, not all of us were born with the literal face and skin of a Greek God,Apollo,” Dmitry tuts. “The rest of us basic bitches have to put in a lot of effort to look this good.”
I burst out laughing at the quip, finding it ironic that Dmitry chose to compare my boyfriend to the very same god I compared him to a month ago. Luke shoots me a commiserating smile, and I know he’s thinking the same thing. Then he turns and gives Dmitry a meaningful, almost sultry look, really laying the charm on thick. “It must be tough basking in such glory.”
“Well,anyway,” Dmitry continues with a roll of his eyes, though there’s a noticeable blush on his cheeks. “As I was saying, we got to talking after all that sexy business, when Luke mentioned the group was looking for another roommate to help lower some costs, and my lease was expiring in a month. Next thing you know….”
“He wandered in like a stray kitten, and we adopted him,” Rei adds cheerfully.
Dmitry turns and gives them a flabbergasted grin before shaking his head. “Excuseme. I think you mean I’ve adoptedyou. Honestly, I don’t know how you all managed to keep the lights on as long as you did without me. I’ve never seen so many adults who didn’t know how to balance a checkbook.”
This devolves into a loud but happy argument, the four of them bickering back and forth jovially about who saved whose ass, and it’s immediately apparent that this is their love speak. Given how bright and cheerful they become as they poke and prod one another, it’s easy to see how deeply connected they are. So much affection is infused in their teasing that it’s almost nauseating to be on the outside witnessing it in action. But it fills my chest with a warm glow all the same, knowing that, without question,thisis Luke’s family. These are the people he calls home, the ones he trusts implicitly to have his back, and it’s easy to imagine the four of them coming together in a time of crisis to tackle a hardship.
Seeing how at ease Luke is in their company only adds to that feeling.
The rest of dinner moves by in a similar manner—a lot of heartwarming stories, laughter, and joy that leave me with a warm glow. The drinks flow freely with tongues growing looser as more and more is consumed. They paint a new picture of Luke and his many escapades over the years, giving me a better senseof who he is when he’s not forced to hide and shrink down to be unnoticed in a town of bigots that tried to snuff out his light.
Here, it’s obvious that he’s come alive. It’s like looking at a new man. He’s no longer dimming his shine to avoid standing out in the crowd. He’s bright and alluring, his entire person buzzing with electricity, and I can’t stop myself from staring at him with every word he speaks, completely mesmerized. Every time he smiles or laughs, it sends a surge of tenderness straight through my core, and whenever he notices me watching him, his smile grows, and a twinge of fresh color paints his cheeks. It only makes me fall harder for him. I try to memorize the fine lines of his face, every curve and swell of his sensuous lips, the bottomless well of life behind his eyes…and I feel how much my heart aches every time I’m reminded that this won’t last. But I shove those thoughts as far back as I can to be dealt with later.
At one point, on a random impulse, I get up with the excuse to use the bathroom, only to corner our waiter at the back of the restaurant instead, handing him my credit card to pay for the entire table. I wasn’t planning on doing this initially, but it feelsright.The waiter’s expression remains a practiced neutral, but there’s an evident curiosity behind his eyes as he returns with a receipt to sign the $800 check, and I don’t even balk about leaving a $300 tip.
I don’t say anything as I return to the table, and although I never implicitly requested his discretion, the waiter doesn’t spill the beans of my generosity as he announces that the bill has been paid. Instead, I watch with satisfaction as everyone else gapes and whirls their head around the restaurant, trying to find their mysterious unnamed benefactor.
Only Dmitry seems to catch on to my deception as he notices my lack of confusion in the face of the rest of the table’s bewilderment, but he doesn’t say anything to give me away. Hejust raises his glass to me in a silent toast of gratitude, and I smile back.
Everyone is sufficiently buzzed by the time we make it back to the apartment, but the night’s not over yet. They bring out a few more bottles of wine and some cheap whiskey as we settle around their tiny living room, catching Luke up on what he’s missed since he’s been gone.
Rei and Star curl up in each other’s arms on one end of the couch while Luke and I sit on the other, Misty coiled up on Luke’s lap. Dmitry has made a little nest of pillows and blankets on the floor, and he’s holding a Squishmallow against his chest as he nurses a whiskey sour. The small space only amplifies the intimacy between everyone here, the very walls seeming to exude a sense of happiness. Everyone is giddy and laughing, their joy filling the air, and even though I don’t add much to the conversation, watching them is almost more intoxicating than the alcohol.
Luke is drunk.Verydrunk. His cheeks are noticeably flushed, and his words begin to slur with every new sentence as the night goes on, but he’s freer than I’ve ever seen him, his energy positively magnetizing. He’s loud and boisterous, his laughter infectious and maddeningly adorable. When he smiles, it sends butterflies straight through my gut, and when he touches me (he never seems to stop touching me) it’s like he transfers that energy through my skin, and I have to remind myself to breathe.
But best of all, it’s as if the weight of the world has finally been lifted from Luke’s shoulders in his drunken euphoria. The heavy cloud of burden is all but gone in this space, replaced with a vast open sky of sunny possibilities. I try to remember the last time I saw him this relaxed—or even the last time I’ve seen him thisdrunk.I don’t think he’s ever fully let down his guard like this since I’ve met him. It’s a stark contrast seeing him come alive in his element, truly at home around his people.
The more I see thatthisis where Luke truly belongs, the harder it is for me to ignore the fact that he’ll eventually leave me to come back here. Maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not even a month from now. But one day, whenever the burden keeping him in Michigan lifts, he’ll be free to fly home, and I won’t be able to stop him. Knowing what’s waiting for him here, I wouldn’t want to.
“Oh, no,” Luke says suddenly, snapping me out of my thoughts. “You’re doing that brooding look again.”
“What?” I frown, turning my eyes to meet his.
“There.Rightthere. You’re doing it again.”
