“Are you stillsleeping?” Marcus asks incredulously. “Dude. It’s like ten o’clock.”
“Is it?” I frown, pulling the phone back to look at the time. It’s actually closer to ten-thirty. Fuck… “It was a long night.”
“Jesus. Did you and Luke stay up drinking last night or something?”
I freeze, and my brows furrow slightly as I try to piece together how Marcus could possibly know Luke is here right now. “We were just watching TV… How did you…?”
“I can see his truck in your driveway, idiot.”
“You’re here?” I snap up, panicked. Luke’s eyes go wide as he hears it, knowing exactly what that means and all the implications of that statement. Capture.Exposure.Something hidden being dragged into the light. He lets out a soft gasp before clamping his hand over his mouth to stop the sound.
“Yeah. I was worried when you never answered me yesterday or this morning, so I drove over to check on you, hoping you weren’t dead. But your garage door is locked for some reason, or I would have just come in,” Marcus complains nonchalantly, not realizing his words are a stay of execution.
Relief hits me like a splash of cool water on a hot summer’s day. A locked door, meaning he couldn’t get in, meaning we’re safe. I can physically feel my heart relax with the understanding, though there’s a curious twist in my gut to think I’m so relieved to continue lying to my best friend.
Part of me acknowledges how strange it is that the door was locked, though. I always keep the garage door open, and Luke also knows this. He’s let himself into my house by it numerous times. Maybe he bolted it on his way in last night by accident? Or perhaps he always locks it when he comes in, and I’ve never noticed… Still, I suppose there’s no point in looking a gift horse in the mouth. The fact that it was locked at all is my saving grace.
“Can you let me in? Or are you gonna make me stand out here all day?” Marcus scoffs.
“Yeah, give me a minute to get up. I’ll be right there,” I say, then hang up the phone.
“Fuck.Fuck,” Luke hisses. “This isn’t good. I fucked up.”
“It’s okay.” I shake my head. “He doesn’t know anything’s going on.”
“I wasn’t planning on staying the night.” Luke groans, dragging his hands down his face, but I feel my heart sink in my chest at the admission. “It was just that you looked so peaceful, and I felt bad making you get up so I could leave… And then I must have fallen asleep.”
Disappointment and hurt flash through my mind, making my stomach churn. There was a glimmer of elation when I woke up to find he was still here, but hearing it was an accident eats at me a little. The only reason he’s here is because I forced his hand when he was physically trapped underneath me and couldn’t escape. If he doesn’t want to stay with me this badly, then what the fuck are we even doing?
But then Luke groans, his face showing so much guilt that it throws me off. “This is exactly what I was always afraid of happening.”
“I…” I start, but then freeze, staring at Luke with wide eyes as the words click in a recessed corner of my brain, bringing with it a new sense of understanding.
What I was afraid of…
Suddenly, it hits me like a ton of bricks dropped off the Empire State Building. Isthatwhy he’s always been so hesitant to stay the night? Because he was worried we’d get caught sleeping together by someone coming over unannounced? Could that really be the only reason he’s been so willing and eager to leave rather than giving in to sharing a bed with me? Has he been leaving my house every time as a means toprotectme?
Untempered excitement blooms in my chest to think I’ve misinterpreted this behavior the entire time. Luke hasn’t been doing it to distance himself from me. That was all in my head. He may have gladly stayed with me if I was out and open with our relationship, and he didn’t feel like he had to leave before anyone noticed he was here. It’s entirely my fault!
But there isn’t time to go into that now—not when Marcus is waiting outside for me. Pushing myself up from the couch, I firmly kiss Luke, letting the action speak for itself. Luke smiles with surprise as he searches my face with delighted confusion, clearly not expecting the reaction from me.
“I’ll be right back,” I say, kissing Luke again on the forehead and leaving him on the couch.
Sure enough, I find that the garage door is locked, and as strange as it is, I’m grateful for this bizarre twist of fate. Now that I know why Luke’s always been so keen to leave, I plan on breaking him of that notion. I’ll lock this door on purpose every night if it means having him in my bed when I wake up in the mornings.
I open the door and see Marcus standing on the stoop. I gesture for him to back up, then go outside, closing the door behind me. I’m not sure I could handle having a normal conversation with him in the same room as Luke right now without something breaking down in communication. Marcus gives me a questioning look, but I shrug.
“Luke’s still asleep on the couch,” I lie, and it seems like he buys the excuse as he nods his head, looking over my shoulder at the door as if he can see through it. But then he simply stands there for a second, looking me up and down with an assessing eye, and I feel heat prickle at the back of my neck, wondering what he sees. “What?”
“Nothing,” Marcus says quickly, dropping his gaze. “I just… How are you?”
“I’m…okay.” I sigh. “Better today.”
“Good. Good.” He folds his arms across his chest, then unfolds them, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He won’t look me in the eye.
I blink with confusion. “Areyouokay? You look like you’re going to be sick.”
This brings him up short, and he frowns. “No, I’m… I was just worried. About you. That’s all.” He sighs, dragging a hand down his face. “When you weren’t answering me, my mind went to all the possible ways I’d find you dead. So, I’m a little antsy about it.”
