It’s Sunday,and although everything spiraled out of my control, I think I found my footing. If everything goes according to plan, we might be just fine.
Social media has been a rollercoaster, but lots of families were inspired by my art class. I’m fully booked and had to ask for help from Saylor, since we’re short staffed. To my surprise, she said yes.
And Dominic hot-and-cold Diaz is pissing me off. I know this whole thing was supposed to be casual, but I’ve never done anything casual a day in my life, and I wasn’t about to start now.
Yes, sneaking around has become tiresome, but I have no problem with sticking my tongue down his throat in public, or literally just hanging out. I know our relationship has become more physical than not, but for me, it’s more than that.
I think I love him, and that scares the shit out of me.
I don’t think I’ve ever fallen in love with someone this quickly, but how can you know Dominic andnotlove him? How can you look at his sad eyes and not want to do everything possible to make them shine with joy like they do when we’re alone, or when Itouch him. But then, he opened up to me, and that just made me fall even harder.
And now, he’s not only ignoring me, but avoiding me too. He took off the armor for me, letting me take a peek inside, and then he not only put it back up, he built a ten foot wall, and I can’t even try to climb it.
I knock on his door—hard. He’s here, I know it. His damn truck is here, and it’s ten pm, so I know he’s not out there doing one of his never-ending ranch tasks. “Dominic, open the door before I climb the wall and go through your window.”
I’m acting like a clingy girlfriend, and I don't care even a little bit, because I need to know.
I need to know if he got tired of me or if I’m suddenly too much. I need to know if he’s moving on.
Above all, I need to know it was not all in my head.
You can’t fake the way he looked at me or the way his shoulders relaxed when he was near me or the way he showed up for me when I needed him the most.
I knock again. “Dominic!”
You can’t fake the way his eyes could find mine whenever we were around each other, even if we weren’t alone, or the way he did little things to make my life easier. You can’t fake all the sweet nothings he whispered in my ears, or the way he held me through the night, as if I were the most precious thing in his life.
And then pretend like nothing is going on between us.
Because if that’s casual for him, if that’s just a fuck buddy for him, then I’m in giant trouble. I fear it’s too late to get off this rollercoaster unharmed.
The door swings open, a storm brewing behind his eyes. “Are you okay?” he asks.
Am I okay? No, I’m not okay. But oh my God. Maybe he’s not okay, and I’ve been here spiraling when he really is sick or something.
“Um, yeah. Sorry. I didn’t even think to ask ifyouwere.”
“What?”
“I haven’t seen you in a few days, and I keep trying to reachout to no avail. I thought maybe you were ignoring me, but now, I’m wondering if you were sick or something. I didn’t even think about that as a possibility, and I should’ve gotten you soup or something, and no?—”
“Riley,” he interrupts. “Breathe. I’m okay.”
I let out a breath and then punch his arm, playfully and annoyed. “Then why the fuck are you giving me the silent treatment?”
“Shh,” he whispers, holding my arm and dragging me into his cabin.
“Don’t shush me. I’m not a child.”
“I know, but you also have no right to be screaming at me over a few days apart,” he says matter-fact. Who is this Dom, and what did he do with mine?
Ouch.
“I—” I open my mouth to continue, but I don't, because he’s right. I’m acting so unhinged. But damn, that hurt.
“It’s more than that, and you know it.”
“Is it?”
