“And you turn them all into masterpieces,” Willa adds, Lilly nodding.
“Besides, you belong with us too,” Lilly adds. “Even if it doesn’t feel like that sometimes.”
I all but leap forward, pulling them into a hug. “I love you guys!”
“We love you too,” Willa says.
We stay like that, close to each other, for what seems like an eternity and not long enough at the same time.
“You know where else you belong?” Lilly asks, a knowing smile on her face.
“Where?” It doesn’t hit me until they’re both smiling wider than I’ve seen before.
“With Dominic,” Lilly says.
I felt like I did. It was so easy to do nothing with him, to go from lust at first sight to a friendship I never expected to happen, to the best sex of my life, my heart skipping beats every time I think of him.
I’ve grown so much since I met him too—not because he led me to that, but because of his unwavering belief in me. Not once did I have to force him to want to be with me or to trust I wasn’t just a walking hot mess express.
“I’ll let you get to him. The guy looks miserable lately,” Lilly adds, waving goodbye with Willa.
I don’t need to fight for my life over this. I just need to put my big girl pants on and go see him. I meant every word I said to Lilly the other day, and if he loves me too, why am I acting like this?
Because he scared you, that’s why.
Love is scary, especially when you can lose it as fast as you get it, but how beautiful it is that we get it at all. My parents would hate it if they knew I’ve been living scared of not being enough. Enough for others to stay, enough to show my worth, enough to try hard things, enough to love me again.
Dom makes me feel enough.
Then why are you here thinking about it instead of telling him, Riley?
It starts now. The living-my-life-to-the-fullest part. The believing-in-myself part. All of it. And it starts with me taking Henry to see Dom.
Which I do.
The bumpy road to the east side seems like a never-ending highway as I’m itching to get to him. I don’t know where he is, but something tells me he’s with the horses. If not, then I’ll have to take a horse to see him. Either way, the stable goes first.
I rush through the front door, my efforts to find him futile. Will Junie let me take her out for a run? I haven’t ridden a horse inso long. Even if I faced my demons and have been spending time at the barn, it still doesn’t make it easy.
Can I still do it? All of it?
I can.
I will.
“Junie girl,” I whisper, entering her stall, her soft, swiveled-back ears the first thing I notice before her soul-filled eyes find mine. “Wanna go for a ride?”
Dom has been taking her, so I know she’s good to go. I place the blanket on her back, smoothing it with my hands, not taking my eyes off her, making sure she’s okay.
She seems like it, so I grab the heavy saddle and take a step closer to her, my fingers caressing her neck. “Let’s try this.” I rest the seat against my hip, keeping it stable, and swing it over the blanket. The leather sighs, settling as if it was made for her. I push the saddle pad up into the gullet to give her withers room, ensuring no pinching or discomfort that I can see.
“Atta girl.”
I continue lowering the cinch, making sure nothing is twisted, and follow along as if it was second nature to me.
“Like riding a bike, huh?” Dom’s voice startles me, but Junie doesn’t even flinch.
Traitor.
