But you know what, big sis? I’m here to take up space. I’m ready to be home, and she won’t make me feel like I abandoned it.
This is my home too.
“I grew up here too, you know.” My accusation feels wrong, almost like child’s play, but we’re not at the playground, and life, real life, is at stake here.
“Yes, and things change.”
“People too.”
She sighs. “I don’t have time to argue right now. Be careful and come back later. I’m not asking.”
The urge to pout and stomp my feet is strong, but I won’t. I want her to treat me like the adult I am, and I can’t make that happen if I’m acting like a toddler. “I’m leaving. See you this afternoon!” I shout, running out of the office.
I press play on the audiobook I’ve been listening to for days now, because no matter how hard I try to concentrate on it, I can’t.I’m hoping that being back here, breathing this air, touching grass both literally and figuratively, can give me, well…meback.
I hope it can give me peace.
I doubt it, judging by Lilly’s reaction. But you know what? It doesn’t matter, because right now, I have my entire morning free to run until I can’t feel my legs anymore. Then, I get to unpack my whole life back into my cabin.
3DON’T MOVE
Riley
I went for a run,unpacked, showered, and ate, all the things I had on my to-do list. Did I clean the cabin? No. Did I organize my clothes? Also no, but it’s fine, because it’s unpacked and sorted. The rest can wait until tomorrow. Because now it’s the afternoon, and it’s time to go back and talk to Lilly.
I don’t necessarilywantto work, but Ineedto. On what? Not sure. It was clear to everyone before that I’m not great at working the ranch—reason number 2,538 I went to the city for college to study the complete opposite of what I’d be doing here. Although I loved it, I hated being far away from home. If only there was something I could use my communications degree for…
Fuck that, actually. I don’t like it at all. I should've known. I should’ve studied something with art instead. I don’t want to pursue a job just to earn money. I don’t want to feel like I can’t breathe again, as if the walls are closing in.
My phone is staring at me with exclamation points on each side, screaming at me to just call her. I don’t want to talk to her again, but I have to, especially if I need her to trustme with a job. I don’t want to spend the next six months aimlessly wandering because Sister Dearest won’t tell me what I can help with—or even worse, give me random tasks that won’t lead anywhere.
Me:
Have you talked to Lilly today?
Willa:
Hello, Riley.
Me:
hi.
Me:
Did you talk to Lilly today?
Willa:
No, why?
Me:
She’s not very happy I showed up.
Willa:
And you thought she would be? You know she hates surprises.
