But I don’t return the kiss.
I can’t.
I’m fighting it with everything I have, and then she’s gone.
Out of my arms. Like a fleeting dream.
If it weren’t for the splashing around me and the very naked Riley showing her perfect ass getting out of the river in front of me, I would think this is exactly what this was. A dream.
A nightmare.
The sky roars, as if screaming at me to open my mouth and tell this gorgeous, infuriating woman it’s nothing against her and everything to do with me.
That she’s young and I’m not.
That she has her whole life ahead of her, and I just want to live out my days doing good for this land and enjoying peace and calm.
How do I tell her I come with baggage and losses and a whole lot of drama and unhealed journeys that will only darken her days, as opposed to help her shine her light?
She deserves light.
The first drop of water lands on my cheek like a lonesome tear would if I had any way of releasing my frustration and anger.
Instead, the sky cries for me.
Forher.
She’s rushing, picking up her clothes, and I think she’s going to leave without saying another word, but instead, she turns on her heels to face me. Wet blonde hair around her full, rosy cheeks; even with just the sliver of moonlight barely passing through the cloud-filled sky, I can see the way red paints them, as if her face is an open canvas.
“Just stay away from me, okay? This is clearly one-sided,. Yesterday was humiliating enough, and this just put salt in the wound,” she says, anger filling her tone.
This is full of fury Riley, and she’s terrifying.
I hate myself for putting that doubt in her head.
“Just stop trying to save me, and being friends with me, and saying nice things, and looking at my lips. Justallof it. I will forget this whole thing ever happened, but please, I’m just asking for some mercy so I can clear my head.”
Her? Asking for mercy? One-sided?
No, she’s got it all wrong.
There’s no time to explain, because I’m frozen in this river with the cold rain picking up speed, beating strongly on my face, while the woman who has been driving me wild for the past couple of weeks is walking away, thinking I’m rejecting her because I’m not interested.
“You’re gonna get electrocuted if you don’t get out of the water!” she shouts, running away and disappearing into the darkness.
Even when she’s mad at me, feeling embarrassed, her heart of gold is worried about my well-being.
Then what in the actual fuck am I still doing here?
I run out, picking up my clothes and sliding the shirt back on. I’ll have to come back for the trash tomorrow. Right now, a very upset Riley is running back into her cabin thinking I don’t want her.
Rain falls over me as I fruitlessly try to catch up to her, but she’s fast, strong, and determined. The true definition of if there’s a will, there’s a way, even if it’s enraging.
I speed up, the wet grass under my bare feet, until the only thing between her and me is the wooden door to her cabin. The fact that she made it in, closed and locked the door, and is nowhere to be seen, even through the window, is truly incredible.
She’s incredible.
I pace, thinking about my next move. What do I do here? Do I tell her the truth? Do I try to seek some comfort, even if just for tonight? Do I trust her to have a piece of myself without offering my heart?
