“We’re six feet under, Dominik, you buried us. There’s no way to undo it. You might’ve saved me Dominik but now you need to save yourself. Stay the fuck away from my family and me,” I say trying to cut the strings that bind me to him, but they only get tangled tighter.
“You don’t mean it,” Dominik says and the door opens, there’s no time for me to hide, Josh appears from behind it.
“What the-”
“Don’t bother I’m leaving. I’m done. We’re done,” I say the last sentence staring at Dominik’s dull eyes.
Chapter 7
Love
“What changed?” Maya asks me when I walk outside the room charging out of the hospital towards Kai’s car.
“Wow, easy cowboy,” Maya says and stops me at the hospital’s parking lot. A car stops in front of us.
“Come here,” Rian says rolling the windows down. I lunge towards the passenger seat, breaking with each step, he’s the only one I can talk to, the only one that can help. “Not you, fool, go with Kai,” Rian says locking the doors as soon as I get in, leaving Maya out alone. “What did he do?”
“He fucking broke me, Ry. I chose him and he broke me. He’s stating he didn’t fake liking me but I can’t believe a word he says. He confirmed everything you said and more,” I say my heart throbbing, tears streaming, my chest squeezing.
“Hey, we’re going to get through this, we always do,”Rian says and puts his hand on top of mine on my leg.
“I fear he infested me with too many thoughts and wrong beliefs and I don’t know if I can get rid of them without getting rid of myself in the process. And I just found the real me. And for the first time I wasn’t scared, I wasn’t miserable, I was thriving. What should I do Rian?-”
“Want to drink it away?” Rian asks and instead of thinking clearly and saying “no, what a stupid idea” I say “Sure.”
“It’s the only cure I know,” Rian says, “Doesn’t heal but numbs the pain”
“If we agree to no drugs count me in,” Rian winks at me and starts the car. He drives us to the bar in front of our condominium. I move through the streets about as numb as someone can possibly be and I feel the need for something I haven’t felt in a long time.
“Don’t,” Rian says when he notices picking on my skin. “Johnny, my men. The finest whiskey to my girl Love here,” I enter the bar and can even feel the sketchiness.
“I’m not going in there,” I tell Rian holding his wrist.
“Come on, as long as you’re with me, you’re safe, I got your back,” Rian says and hesitantly I enter the lowly dimmed bar and see all decorations are in black, gold and silver. The gold and silver are still clearly remnants of Christmas decorations.
“Double it,” I tell who I assume is Johnny. He adds whiskey to the top of my cup and I thank him before drinking all of it in one go. My head gets dizzy but Rian supports me.
“Enough drinking for you,” Rian says and everything else is a blur. I convinced him to have one more drink. It was one drink after another for as long as I can remember. And I went outside to catch some air when Rian was in the bathroom.
I was about to pass out when two arms pick me up. I touch my phone’s turn on button five times so it sends my location to my emergency contacts, Josh and Dad.
The man who picked me up puts me in a car and I think I’m done when I doze off. Once back to my senses I see I’m at the condominium but not in my room or anywhere in my apartment.
“Feeling better?” Dominik asks and I look at my arm and see I have an IV with saline on my right arm.
“Where am I?” I ask and try to get the IV off but Dominik stops me and I don’t have the strength or will to protest.
“You’re in my apartment. Before you freak out, I mean no harm. I told you, you didn’t know me because you only knew the good parts, it was all that would come out when you were around. There wasn’t dark, there wasn’t chaos, there wasn’t the blood blindness. Whenever you’re around all there is, is you. You and this profound sense of acceptance, calmness and eagerness at the same time. Love I did not in any moment use you, all I said and did was true,” Dominik says and hands me a bucket when I’m about to throw up. Surprisingly, I don’t have the strength or want to shake his hand off my hair.
“How could you be married to someone you don’t love?-,” I ask but am stopped by more nausea.
“All my life all I ever saw was commitment, alliances and survival. Stepping on whoever comes in my way tosuccess. And doing whatever it takes to stay in control,” Dominik says and I’m still in disbelief, “I knew nothing other than numbness, chaos and wrath. You tuned these feelings in a different frequency, I for once could ignore them with you around.”
“How can I believe you?” I ask Dominik and his hand falls to his couch’s arm next to me. I notice I’m in his living room and Dominik is sitting on the floor next to me. He’s still as tall as me and I’m way above him.
The dark fog in the room seems to lift and for once I can breathe.
“I can come clean to Josh.-”
