“Rian, are you staying?” my mom asks as soon as Riancomes back into the house.
“No way, someone needs to keep a close eye on Love-”
“On Dominik,” my father says and my mother elbows him.
“I’ll keep you updated, Cee,” he says referring to my dad, he’s literally the only soul who can call him that. My father took Rian saving me from myself to the heart. I was closing up. And Rian was the only one I let in. The only one I let see my pain. He and sometimes Declan. Yet he isn’t here anymore. And all the moments I ever had with him start to feel like a blur. And for some reason him being erased from my life left me uneasy. He might’ve been a prick, but he was Declan.
“I miss him too,” Rian says caressing my arm, I smile at him and go outside. Declan stood by my mother’s attacker’s side. Declan seemed like he was going to kill me. Yet I miss the idea of him. But that’s all it was, a messed-up mirage, from when I was drowning.
Grief is a strange emotion; it makes you want to be gone with them, yet at the same time keep living for them. Live the long, happy, successful life they wanted but never got to have for them.
And I’ll have it. But not for him. For the people I have now. For Dominik, for Rian, for Josh. The boys of my life. And for Sammy and Maya my forever sisters.
My phone buzzes.
Maya: What’s taking you so long? Sammy is bullying me into seeing a movie with her. I need reinforcements.
Me: On my way!
I respond to Maya and get out. I can feel the coldthrough my body, freezing me to the bones.
Dom: You look stunning, mind if I take a taste?
I look around and see Dominik at the end of the street. He looks like an ant. And I’m sure so do I.
Me: I look like an ant. Are you into fucking ants?
Dom: You said it, not me. Also only if it’s you. ;)
I walk his way with Kai following me from a distance. His house. The guy's house is on the other side of Sammy’s apartment street.
Dom: Also where did you get that dirty mouth? I wasn’t talking about fucking... yet.
Me: I got it from you, prick. My prick.
Dom: Your prick indeed, ma Vie.
I keep texting him until I’m close enough to talk.
“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at work?” I ask him confused. Josh doesn’t trust many, more like any. And he trusted the casino’s security to him. Even after we almost died he trusted Dominik again, saying he couldn’t have done anything different. And for him to say it, it’s because it’s true.
“Do you not want me here?” he asks his eyebrow raised. I get on my tiptoes and seal our lips. “You’re moving closer to me. Away from your father. Good news,” he admits and I punch his arm lightly, seeing a smirk erupt on his lips.
“Even if we were planets away he’d find a way to spy on us,” I say and he gets me inside his apartment. His tall, broad frame contrasts with my tiny lean one. “Where are you taking me?” I ask him as he walks me to thebottom of the stairs.
“Ready for some morning exercise?” he asks me and I shake my head laughing. I start to walk up the stairs following him and I feel the thrill of the unknown. Which I also classify as the thrill of Dominik. I’m always eager to be around him, I’m always craving for his touch, affection, his rare, fragile moments where I peek inside his soul. A soul I found to be much darker than I thought.
I’ve never seen the darkness in him because to me he’s always been the light. Now that I look carefully I can see it. I can see it around others. His uninterested eyes, his emotionless expression, his rigid body and formal posture. It’s so unlike how he is with me. Which sometimes makes me wonder if I’m seeing the real him. Or if he’s deceiving me. Yet every time he looks at me I just know. In his clear green eyes, he couldn’t lie to me. I’m seeing a side of him no one else gets to. Not because he’s lying to them, but because he chose me to be his. In every sense of the word. But especially to be his person. The person he cares about the most, the only person he feels “genuinely comfortable around”. His words, not mine.
I smile at the thought. Remembering the very expression he had telling me that. He was still recovering and we sneaked into the rooftop of the hospital to have some alone time. It was one of the best nights. We didn’t talk much. We just kissed, looked at each other and observed the world. Getting ready to face it now together.
“What are you smiling about?” he whispers and I wonder why he’s whispering before he nears the second-floor apartment’s door.
“You,” I reply and he grabs my hand before nearing whatI assume to be the back door. “Where are we going?” I ask him and he shushes me with a kiss, when I try to talk again he brings his index finger to my lips.
“We’re almost there,” he whispers electricity erupts through my skin, from where he spoke to my entire body, including my still sore nipples. Dominik opens the door and holding my hand, guides me to some stairs, they have two floors? I’ve never been here and I can’t catch a clear glimpse of anything with Dominik pulling me while acting like a spy.
When we’re up the stairs and he opens one of the doors, I think it’s a new room, but there’s no bed. Just paintings. Paintings of me.
